2003 - Yes, it's another "year in review" post...get over it

I'm sure those of you who frequent blog sites have read through many a 2003 retrospective, some interesting, some, well...maybe not so interesting. Anyway, good or bad, I'm going to toss my entry into the mix.

The year started out with changes & new frontiers. I was a month into being single & starting to feel like myself again. I'd just gone through two years of beating a dead horse & trying to please someone else who apparently didn't have any intention to make the relationship go beyond where it was. When things finally ended, it was a great relief, believe me.

I also started in a new (my current) position at the Company. I wasn't too thrilled about being moved to the warehouse, mostly because of the fact that I'd have to be working with, or at least in close proximity to, Evil T, my arch nemesis. But, I decided that I'd do my best here & try to get all the knowledge that I could from the job. That took about a month. I've been bored silly ever since.

The next few months were pretty uneventful - that is, until I met T. I had no idea how much my life was going to change when I first contacted her. I never would've guessed that I was talking to the woman that would be my wife a year later - that I had found someone who would bring me so much joy & happiness. I love you, Babe. Thanks for being the high point of my year, for wanting to be the high point of my life :)

There was the trip to see T & her trip out here, both very good things. There was having to let go of my beloved truck & the acquiring of the new Jaymobile. Financial headaches. Many events, both good & not so good, but for the most part, a quiet year.

I've made some new friends & acquaintances (through work, this site & life in general) this year. The play that is my life has a very small stage & a very small cast of characters. I added quite a few new players, though. All of you, including the readers who frequent this little corner of the web, have made this a great year, & I thank you.

So, after that little look back, let's look to the future & see what '04 holds in store for us.

Here's to a happy & blessed New Year!

Rah! Growl! Snort! Grumble!

Our hero is not a happy camper today. I've about had it with the Company, or rather, my manager. I want out of that place so bad. The job isn't bad itself. It's just the idiots that I have to work for who couldn't manage their way out of a paper sack. People who can't use their own common sense or brain power (what little they have) to make their own decisions instead of relying on the Almighty Policies & Procedures. Freakin' idiots.

Also, while I'm on my little rantbox - AOL SUCKS! I can hardly get any pages to open in my IE browser. It takes forever to open a page. It sucks, sucks, sucks, SUCKS! If anyone knows how to alleviate this, ping me, please.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!

Sick & tired of being sick & tired

I don't know who gave me the wonderful gift of a stuffed up head & a cough to me, but you could've kept it. I hate being sick. I ended up having to postpone my trip up to my sister's house Christmas Eve until this weekend (if I'm still alive) because I didn't want to "spread the cheer" to the rest of the family. Bleah...I...hate...being...sick.

I hope you & yours have had a relatively germ-free holiday.

Time for a shot of cough syrup & then off to bed for our hero.

Did I mention just how much I hate being sick?

What Christmas is all about

Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?

Linus: Sure, Charlie Brown. I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

Lights, please?

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shown round about them. And they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you. Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes lying in a manger". And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on Earth peace, goodwill toward men."

That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

That's what Christmas is all about, Loyal Readers.

From this little corner of the web to your little corners of the world, Merry Christmas & peace & blessings in the coming year to you & yours.

Weird dream

In case you hadn't noticed, I disabled the comments box. I'm looking for a new comment system as my current one is a bit unreliable (it deleted all of my old comments, for starters, & frequently disappears).

Anyway, I had a dream last night that I had the comments up & running & people kept leaving me messages saying "Please update" & "Write something new" & the like.

I blame this dream on the salad, too.

Evil smothered in bleu cheese

I was feeling fine yesterday. Not a problem, felt good, was looking forward to today. Then, I went to dinner with a friend last night. I had a salad, a combo burrito &, to top it all off, a cup of chocolate pudding. After finishing the pudding, my stomach let me know, in no uncertain terms, that it was very unhappy with me. Now my stomach feels likes it's gone a few rounds as Tyson's punching bag & I have to go to work today, not just because I have to work, but because I need to get my paycheck & a package that I'm expecting. In addition to that, today is the 32nd Annual Jay's Christmas Shopping Day.

What do I blame my current gastrointestinal woes on? The salad. I thought maybe it was the pudding, because that's when I started feeling sick. But, how can you blame an innocent little cup of pudding topped with whipped cream? No, I place the blame firmly on the salad. I think the nutritional value of the salad upset my body's balance of grease, fat & cheese.

Salad - Satan's healthfood. Fear it!

Growing up

A few years ago, the Boy & I were sitting on the couch. He turned to me & said “I know there’s no such thing as the Tooth Fairy.” This came totally out of the blue, but I was interested in finding out how he figured this out. The Tooth Fairy had made all of her teeth for dollars exchanges at the ex’s house, so I knew I hadn’t screwed anything up. I asked him how he’d come to this conclusion. “Well,” he said, “there’s no such thing as fairies, so there couldn’t be a Tooth Fairy.” I was quite amazed with his reasoning. Then he looked at me & asked, “Is that true?” I had promised myself a long time ago that when he started questioning Santa & the Easter Bunny & the Arbor Day Pixie & the like that I’d be honest with him. So, I told him he was correct.

He sat & thought about it for a minute & then said “I know that the parents put out the gifts at Christmas.” He went on to say that he knew they were helping Santa & also theorized that there were actually four Santa’s – one North, South, East & West Santa - because there was no way that one man could fly all the way around the world in one night. I was pretty impressed that a 7 year old had put this much thought into the whole Santa shtick. He then looked up at me with those big blue eyes, looking like he wanted me to say he was right about the four Santa’s & confirm that the world was still a magical place. I guess I was witnessing one of the milestones in his life - the moment when some of the magic of childhood starts to fade away. It was a hard thing to watch.

I told him that he was right about the parents being behind the whole thing & he thought about it again for a minute, letting it all sink in. Then, in his typical fashion, he told me that he wanted to stay up & see how the whole thing worked – how I got the gifts out under the tree & where they were kept. One of these days, I may let him see what goes on behind the scenes.

Incidentally, he wasn’t the least bit upset about learning the truth. The ex, on the other hand – yeesh! You would’ve thought I’d just ran over her puppy. “Now Christmas is ruined! Why did you tell him?!?” Uh, because I wasn’t going to lie to him, maybe? She even tried to tell him that I was wrong & that there really was a Santa. It was really pathetic to see.

Oh, & the Boy’s response to all of this?

“What about the Easter Bunny?”

"Ladies and gentlemen, we got him" - L. Paul Bremer, head of the Coalition Provisional Authority

Where were you when you heard the news?

Check out The Command Post for more links.

Thank you, Lord. Please, keep our men & women safe & bring them home soon.

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New blood

Since I’ve been subjected to listening to Christmas music, I’ve noticed something. There are really only about 5 different traditional Christmas tunes & everyone & their frickin’ dog keeps doing remakes of them. There’s “Jingle Bells”; “White Christmas”; “Frosty the Snowman”; “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”; &, one of the most annoying songs ever written, “The 12 Days of Christmas.” There's a few more, but you get the point.

I think it’s time for some new songs. Here are a few ideas I have:

Bring Back My Lawn Santa, You Lousy Punks
Tangled Light Strings/Crap! I Put A Staple Through The Christmas Light String Medley
Underwear & Socks
Some Assembly Required
Stinkypants, The Chili Lovin’ Elf

They’re just titles right now. Feel free to add actual words to them.

And, after watching the atrocity that was the new Charlie Brown Christmas special a couple nights ago (instead of Rudolph – I feel like I’ve betrayed an old friend), here are a few ideas for new, instant classic holiday specials:

A Texas Chainsaw Christmas
Survivor: North Pole
Phil & Phyllis, The Hermaphroditic Elf
Merry Christmas With Marilyn Manson & Friends

These are sure to become beloved holiday shows, shows that the whole family can gather ‘round the tube & watch together.

I'm not dead yet

I figured since it's been almost a week since I last posted that I should write something so that all 5 of my loyal readers will keep gracing the pages of MLCotW. So, to fulfill a promise I made & also because it's a story that I love, I give you - My Trip To Arkansas! Yes, I realize it's a couple months late. Sue me. Find the first installment here. Find the next installment here:

Meet the Parents - 10/2/03

After a tour of the Big City, we made our way up to the little town where T & her parents live. It's a nice little place, smaller than Yucaipa, but a little more spread out. A lot less traffic & a nice laidback atmosphere. People are actually friendly. You don't worry about accidentally looking at someone the wrong way & being shot at. It was culture shock, big time.

We stopped by her house for a little bit & talked (you'd think we'd be out of things to talk about after three months of talking) & got to know each other. Then, after a couple calls from her parents, we made our way out to their house, where both T & I would be staying. I was just a wee bit nervous about meeting her parents. She had told me a lot about her family & I looked forward to meeting them, but still, the nerves were a bit jittery. I quickly found that I had nothing to worry about. The whole time I was there, they made me feel welcome &, as the days went on, like part of the family. I saw a lot of T in her mother as they are very similar in their outlook on things & have the same sense of humor. Her father had many a story to tell & an incredibly infectious laugh. I hadn't laughed as much or as hard as I did during those five days in a long time.

The next evening, her brother, sister in law & their son made it in. Her brother has her father's ability to tell a good story & have you laughing out loud. We stayed up 'til about 1a talking. Which was kind of a bad thing because we ended up waking up about 430-5a. Not a lot of sleep was to be had on this trip. But that was fine by me. Didn't want to go wasting time with such frivolous pursuits as sleeping.

Saturday, T's sister & 3 of her children came down. Her nephew's birthday was a few days before, so the family had a get together for him & me. That was a little hard for me. Or so I thought it'd be. I'm not one for being in the spotlight much to begin with. Then top that off with being in a new place & meeting new people. My birthdays have never been met with a lot of fanfare & I'm kind of used to it being overlooked. But this was different. It didn't feel awkward. It felt good & natural & normal. It really was nice.

More to come...

“Sometimes - I just have to go off on the stupid”

-or-

A quickie review of “The Simple Life”

Never have a group of letters formed into words rang more true (thanks to Amy for putting those letters together). I tried watching “The Simple Life” with Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie last night, just out of curiosity. To be honest, I really can’t stand reality shows. The last one that I watched with any regularnessity was “The Real World” when they were in Los Angeles. I’m sorry, but reality shows are about the furthest thing from reality. You want reality? Let’s try “The Real World: Yucaipa.” Watch as Jay gets up in the morning with a really bad case of Gumbyhead. Follow Jay as he goes to work & does his best to keep from going postal on idiot CSR’s. Spend the evening with Jay as he surfs the web for useless & bizarre sites.

Ahem...anyway, as I said, I tried watching Tweedle Dumb & Dumber last night. The sheer amount of raw stupidity generated by these two (Hilton in particular) was stunning. How these two have managed to function this long with nothing above the brainstem is nothing short of amazing. Prime examples:

When talking about Wal-Mart (Richie was asking if their hosts hung out there), Hilton asked, “What’s Wal-Mart?” & followed that gem up with something to the effect of “Do they sell walls?” My head started feeling numb at that point.

Later, the Wonder Twins are sent to the store to get some groceries (pigs feet, of course, because that’s what everybody in Arkansas eats…peh). One of the other items on the list was generic bottled water. A simple thing to find – for someone who knows what the word generic means. Yes - Hilton actually asked what generic meant. I realize that we run in different circles & that for some of us "generic" is a brand name & all, but fer cryin' out loud...

After that display of brilliance, I felt a pop in my brain & had to turn the channel, lest I suffered permanent brain damage.

So, to wrap this little review up, the show is beyond stupid. My advice? Find something more worthwhile to do than watch two oxygen starved brains try form coherent thoughts. I dunno…pick lint from your belly button & make a sweater. Alphabetize your utensil drawer. Make a self portrait out of macaroni & Elmer's glue. Any of these ideas would be a better & more productive way to spend the evening.

"It's toasty in here"

Irene walked into the office & said "It's toasty in here" to which I replied, "It should be warm. We're in Christmas Music Hell."

You can call me a Grinch or a Humbug or whatever you want - Christmas music gets on my nerves after about 5 minutes. If I have to listen to Disney characters sing carols or "Elmo Saves Christmas" for the next 24 days, well, I can't be held responsible for what carnage may ensue.

There are a few holiday tunes I can handle. Some of them I listen to all during the year. Others are only broken out to counteract having to hear Mannheim Steamroller & Celine Dion over & over again:

The 12 Days of Christmas - Bob & Doug Mackenzie
Santa & His Old Lady - Cheech & Chong
Father Christmas - The Kinks
Santa Baby - Everclear
Let It Snow - Luscious Jackson
Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses
Baby Please Come Home - U2
Please Come Home For Christmas - The Eagles
You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch - from the cartoon version, not the crapfest that came out a couple years ago
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing - Both the Peanuts & Nat "King" Cole versions
O, Holy Night - The South Park version (the only holiday song to include a cattle prod)
Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band
Little Saint Nick - The Beach Boys (although Sugar Ray did a pretty good version, too)
Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight) - The Ramones
I Am Santa Claus (done to the tune of Iron Man) - Bob Rivers
2000 Miles - The Pretenders
Pretty much any Bing Crosby or Brian Setzer Christmas tune

My musical tastes are...um...scary, to say the least.

Christmas, Christmastime is here...

The Christmas season has finally begun. No, not because of the decorations going up or the after Thanksgiving sales or even because of the holiday music playing all over the dial. No, I know Christmas is right around the corner because of just one thing...

I saw the first Clapper & Chia Pet commercials of the year last night.

I'm thinking about getting a Chia Scooby-Doo head & growing a mohawk on it.

"Clap on, clap off..."

Gobble, gobble...

A happy Thanksgiving to all,
& to all a tryptophan induced coma!

Unless you or one of your family members are a turkey, in which case I give you my most heartfelt condolences.

Three minds, eight hours & email

Tim, Kevin & I get bored. Really bored. And what happens when we get bored? We write letters to celebrities in each others name (well, mostly Tim's). Yes, we probably need to get out more.

Or be locked up.

Anyway, since I still have nothing to write & have yet to get a sandwich (I keep getting sucked into other blogs), here's a sample of some of our letters. OK, one for now.

Enjoy!


ABC Television
Programming Department
Los Angeles, CA


To Whom It May Concern –
This letter is a petition requesting that you bring back my favorite show, “Full House”, to your TGIF line-up. As a long time fan of the show, I was greatly saddened by the cancellation of it 7 years ago. All I have had to remind me of what was, in my humble opinion, Television’s 2nd Golden Age (the first being the timeframe that included Silver Spoons, Joanie Loves Chachi & Punky Brewster) are my VHS recordings of almost every episode of Full House (my parents used my tape of the third season to record my brother’s birth), episodes of “Out of Control”, a Canadian kids show starring Dave Coullier & numerous Olsen Twins videos. Since then, only the Olsen Twins have had another show on your network. & it failed. Do you know why?

It was lacking the comedic one-two punch of Dave Coullier & Bob Saget.

How could you not see that they were the backbone of “Full House”? Without them, the show would never have reached the height of popularity that it did. John Stamos was a hack. The Olsen’s; the girl who played Steph; the ugly sister – they’d all be still doing Burger King commercials if it weren’t for Coullier & Saget.

You must bring back this comedy powerhouse if you want your network to thrive once again. Bring back “Full House.” Make it “Full House: The College Years”, following the adventures of Steph & the ugly sister as they go to the local community college, allowing for plenty of interaction with Coullier & Saget. Or “Full House: Voyager” where the family gets lost after going through a time/space portal & has to find their way back. I don’t care – just bring back Coullier & Saget.

Below, please find the signatures of others who feel as I do. The masses have spoken – are you listening, ABC?

Sincerely,

Tim Aguirre


Petition to bring back “Full House”
Name

Tim Aguirre

Timothy Aguirre

Timothy Alan Aguirre

Alan Aguirre

T. Aguirre

A. Aguirre

Nothing to write about...

Wait a minute! I...

Nah, I got nothing.

I need a sandwich.

Oh, the humanity!

If wearing glasses with an old perscription wasn't enough to make me nauseated, I accidentally left the TV on the "American Idol" Christmas sing-a-long.

Blindness isn't sounding so bad right now.

The seach for Chucky

The number of hits I get from people seaching for the "Chucky" doll that was mentioned in the Halloween Classifieds are starting to creep me out.

Mi ojo es en fuego!

My right eye is on freakin’ fire! I woke up at about 5:30 this morning & it felt like someone was digging my eye out with a spork. I’m fighting the urge to claw it out myself. It hurts to look at anything. It hurts to close my eye. It freakin’ hurts & it just keeps getting worse. Fortunately, I managed to get an appointment with the optometrist.

Arrgh! Hurry up, 11:00.

***

OK, back from the eye doctor. Seems I have a little bitty infection from “overwearing” my contacts. Overwearing meaning that I’ve been a bad boy & slept in my contacts & had left them in too long. Got my knuckles rapped for that. My eye is still uncomfortable. They’re getting tired, too, because, first of all, I’m not accustomed to wearing spectacles & second, the prescription on this pair is about as old as the Boy. My vision is only marginally improved by wearing them. Instead of the blurry blobs that I see without my glasses, things look like much sharper blobs.

***

Tired. So. Very. Tired. My eyes are making it feel like I haven’t slept in days. I just want a nice little nap. Just a little one. Please? Pleeeeeease?

***

The workday’s almost done. Driving home should be fun. I just hope I can see well enough at night. This doth sucketh much. At least my eye doesn’t hurt as much. Which is to say that it’s not freakin’ on fire anymore. It feels like I have my finger stuck in my eye, which is not fun, but now it’s just more uncomfortable than painful.

A definite improvement.

***

Driving home was oodles of fun. Every headlight looked like it had a star filter on it. I can't wear my contacts until next Tuesday, so the fun will just keep right on comin'. *sigh*

No. 21

Just for kicks (OK, not really. I was bored & feeling a little full of myself, as well as the two baloney sandwiches I had consumed.), I Googled "My Little Corner Of The Web" to see what came up.

What came up, you ask?

5,130 other sites with the same name. 5. 1. 3. 0. While I do realize that this blog's title wasn't the most original thing I could come up with - 5,130? And I was no. 21, to boot.

So...I'm thinking of a new name for my l'il bloggie-poo. Any ideas? Any of my three loyal readers? Anything?

Ah, well. Leave your ideas in the talk box.

California Visit


Here’s the rundown of T’s trip out to the left coast. Better late than never. Enjoy, loyal readers!

Saturday, 11/8/03

After running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off trying to straighten up Casa de Jota, the big day finally arrived. The Boy & I went to the airport & proceeded to circle the parking lot about 4 or 5 times. You see, I needed to park in the lot for Terminal 4. Not a difficult request. After all, there were signs pointing the way & I could see the terminal. Should be easy, right?

Um…no.

Apparently, the opening for the lot for Terminal 2 was fitted with a tractor beam that was locked on to my truck, because for some reason, every time I got close to the Terminal 2 lot, I was sucked in. I kept trying to pass it, but would end up in the lot anyway. The scene in “European Vacation” where Chevy Chase & his family get stuck going in circles around downtown London (“Look kids! Parliament! Big Ben!”) kept flashing through my mind. I finally made a concentrated effort to pass Terminal 2 & when I finally did, there was much rejoicing (Yay!).

We went into the terminal & staked our little piece of real estate, waiting for T to come down the stairs. The Boy asked me what color her hair was & then proceeded to ask me “Is that her?” every time a brunette came down the escalator. Seeing her finally come on down the stairs was the best thing I’d seen in a long time. She was just as beautiful as she was when I left Arkansas.

We headed on up to the high desert area to go to my sister’s house. Unfortunately, because of the fires, everything was extra crispy going up the hill. Finally, after a long & ill planned trip through Summit Valley (not a route recommended for those who get motion sickness), we finally made it to my sister’s. On the way back home, we found some Joshua Trees & T wanted some pictures of them, as she had never seen one before (they don’t grow anywhere except the Mojave Desert & Israel). She was exhausted from a long day & a long flight, but we were just happy to be together again.

Sunday, 11/9/03

The next day it was church, the batting cages & out to my mom’s for lunch. The cages are where the Boy & I like to go & it’s a good place to vent your frustrations & aggressions. Just name each ball after whatever (or whoever) may be giving you grief. It’s very therapeutic. We dropped the Boy off at the ex’s & headed out to Mom’s.

We were going to pick the Boy up after lunch (which really turned out to be an early dinner) & have a movie night. I knew he was excited about it, as he really took a liking to T (I had to fight for my spot next to T. Every time I moved, he’d jump in & take my spot.). We got to the ex’s house to pick him up & ran into a snag. We ended up being an hour late getting there & she decided that she was “concerned” about him getting home too late. He was going to have to be up early to go to work with his uncle (he didn’t have school that Monday) & she thought it would be too hard to get him up in the morning. Now, keep in mind, this is the same person who, on the previous Thursday night, was supposed to call around 7:30 to see if the Boy wanted to stay with her, but didn’t because she “couldn’t find a phone” supposedly, & picked him up at 10:00, long after he’d gone to sleep. And he had school the next day! This is also the same person who, I guarantee you, will be late for her own funeral.

Anyway, I was understandably torqued. But T helped to calm things down. We rented a movie & had a nice, quiet evening together. Later, the ex called & we arranged for me to have the Boy the next night.

Monday, 11/10/03

Monday rolled around, & I haven’t dreaded a day like that since I left Arkansas a month earlier. We had lunch up in Oak Glen & then stopped by work to meet a few people. They were all quite impressed & liked T instantly. That evening, we picked up the Boy & a copy of Finding Nemo & had a family movie night, along with a couple of his friends. The Boy then went back to the ex & we again had the evening to ourselves.

I tried as hard as I could to make time stand still, but alas, was unable to do so. All day, I’d been in a mood, trying not to think about her leaving the next morning. It felt like she’d just gotten there & now she had to go. I was not looking forward to the empty feeling that was going to be left after she went back.

Tuesday, 11/11/03

I took her down to the airport & was not a happy camper. I tried to be a little upbeat & think positive & remember what a good time we’d had, but it just wasn’t working. I watched her go back up the stairs that just three days earlier I’d seen her come down. I watched her go through the security maze & waited until I couldn’t see her anymore. Then I made my way back to the truck to head on home. The whole way, I kept hoping to get a call from her saying that the flight was delayed or cancelled or, better yet, that she was going to stay. She did finally call, just before she boarded the plane. She told me later that she was the last person on the plane because she sat in the terminal contemplating staying. But, she knew she had things to take care of back in Arkansas. Lousy time for her rational side to show up.

It was a long day & I was in a crummy mood. I’d warned everyone that I wouldn’t be a pleasant person to be around that day. When I got home, it was quiet. Something was missing. She was missing. The feeling of completeness that I feel when I'm with her was missing. I just sat there, alone in the quiet. The whole place felt empty.

Fast forward to today

I miss her. I can't get over how much I miss her. But, as she pointed out last night, we only have something like 25 weeks left. *sigh* That only sounds a little better than 5 1/2 months. But, I know it'll be here quickly. And I know she loves me & I love her. I'm just an impatient person & am eager to get our life together started. I'd marry her tomorrow if I could.

Conference

Last night was the Boy's parent/teacher conference. The teacher says that he's a superbright kid (must get that from me), but that she has a hard time getting him to get his work done & stick with the task at hand (definitely gets that from the ex). He's not ADD or dyslexic or anything. He just doesn't want to be bothered with the mundane stuff, like schoolwork. All three of us are unable to figure out a way (well, a way that won't involve CPS) to get him to do what he needs to do in school. Arrgh!

Great...

Let's see how many hits I get from preverts doing Google searches for the Olsen Twins now.

Crumbs...

& last, but not least...

Will someone pleeeease make the Olsen Twins stop making movies.

Please? Pretty please? I'll be your best friend...

Welcome to the neighborhood

A quick hello to a new reader, one of T's friends.

Hiya, Brown!

Egyptian Dwarf Trees With Welsh Accents
- or -
An Evening With John Rhys-Davies

I just finished watching The Two Towers & Raiders of the Lost Ark, featuring John Rhys-Davies as a dwarf with a Welsh accent, a dwarf in a tree's body with a Welsh accent & a large dwarf with a Welsh accent trying to do an Egyptian accent.

Thanks to T for the Indiana Jones box set. There will much making of whip-cracking noises & humming of the theme for weeks to come.

"Say hello to my leeettle friend..."

A new member was added to my family today. One that will hopefully bring me years of joy & faithful service.

Ladies & gentlemen - I am the proud owner of a 1990 goldish-brown Honda Civic. I am going from my gigantic truck (I'm turning her back over to her original owners tomorrow) to a little, teeny clown car. While the mileage will be really good, it feels weird to be sitting on the ground when I'm driving. Plus, the intimidation factor in the Civic is about -7.

Looks like I'll have to resort to glares & dirty looks.

Thanks to the good people at Championship Automotive(especially Jim & David) for working with me. You guys rock!

MLCofW Hits 500!

Well, 500 unique visitors, according to Bravenet.

Congrats to T for hitting the magic number. Your prize - you get to marry me!

*sigh* Slow morning...

Lazy post alert!

Tim just got back from the Great White North & has this to report.

Yeah, it's a lazy post. Get over it.

On the plus side, the funk has lifted.

*Does a James Brown chair dance*

Sigh

T's gone back to Arkansas & I miss her like I've never missed anyone before. I'm not in much of a mood to write right now. I'll fill you all in on the details later.

Just give me a day or two to get out of this funk.

Full-on throw-it-all-in-the-closet mode

Less than four hours now 'til T's arrival. I still need to get a few more things straightened up around Casa de Jota. I haven't done squat in my room & the Boy's room looks like someone turned it upside down.

Arrrgh! My kingdom for a can of kerosene & a match.

Bachelor living has had it's good parts. I've learned how to survive when the dishes are, um..."vacationing" in the dishwasher. I invented the "Post-It Note" spoon after forgetting a spoon at work & encountering some particularly thick &, therefore, non-drinkable oatmeal. & I've learned that macaroni & cheese can be dressed up with such things as hot dogs, tuna & peas (don't knock it 'til you try it).

But, it's also has it's drawbacks. Such as today. I swear my dirty clothes get together & multiply. Maybe playing "Sex Machine" too much puts them in the mood. I dunno.

Alright, enough procrastination. I'll keep you all posted on our adventures this weekend.

12 1/2 hours & counting (but who's counting?)

I had to take a break from revisiting the "Refrigerator of Doom" (yes, the potatoes are still good). I'm just a little beat, but I still have to run some things down to the garbage or this place is going to be pretty rank.

But, on a more pleasant (& much better smelling) note, T will be here in a little over 12 1/2 hours. WEE HAW!!!

No butterflies this time. Just impatience.

"God, grant me patience & grant it to me now!"

"...I love you & good night"

There are times when I just can't find the words to tell T how much I love her, how much of a difference she has made in my life. Her love for me has made me feel like I never have before. I feel alive because of her love. I'm happy. Genuinely happy.

She'll be here in three more days. Then she'll have to go back to Arkansas. I know that I'm not going to want to let her go. Leaving her last month to come back to California was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I know that letting her go when she leaves again will be painful. But, I also know, to paraphrase what she told me after I left, that she's not leaving me, just California.

Six months 'til we're married & then we'll never have to part again. It seems so near & yet so far off from now all at the same time. I can hardly wait for the time when she's the first person I see in the morning & the last as I drift off to sleep. I can't wait to feel her near me.

So sing with me softly
As the day turns to night
And later I’ll dream of paradise with you
I love you and good night

~Anniversary, Eva Cassidy

Breaking News

Did I mention that T will be here in five days? OK, just checking.

A thank you to someone who doesn’t hear it often enough

There are people in our lives that get taken for granted. It is assumed that they are always there, ready to help out in any way they can & to lend support through the rough times. & while their help in always appreciated, we sometimes forget to let them know just how grateful we are to have them in our lives. This big “Thank You” goes out to my mom.

She’s always there when trouble comes around (which has been more so over the past year). She’s been there as my relationship with T has developed to where it is today. She was the first one that I told I wanted to marry T (who’s going to be here this Saturday – wee haw!). She’s been genuinely excited about it. She’s excited about meeting T this weekend (five more days, but who’s counting). She spent all day yesterday helping out with laundry & straightening up around Casa de Jota.

She has her quirks. She tends to freak out & panic every time her computer burps. Anything with more than two buttons scares her. She’s a wee bit hard of hearing, which makes for some interesting conversations. & she hates the stairs up to my apartment. But, those are all little things that I think I can live with (although, I may have to start charging her for tech support on her computer).

Even with those quirks, she’s a pretty special person who deserves more than just some kudos on an obscure blogsite floating around in cyberspace. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to fully repay all that she’s done. Maybe I’ll pick a nicer rest home than the one I have in mind for her when the time comes.

Thanks Mom. You’re the best.

Wow, I didn't think it was possible...

...there are people with more twisted imaginations than me. Check out this link, found amongst the other Halloween festivities at A Small Victory.

Classifieds

Submitted for your approval & just in time for Halloween:

The classified section from the Elm Street Gazette (thanks to T for the original inspiration & to Kevin & Tim for helping me run with it)

Services Offered: Holes in walls to 4th dimension patched. Call for estimates. Ask for Rod.

For Sale: The house of your dreams! Spacious country house on busy interstate. Large yard with plenty of room for children & pets. Adjacent to charming pet semetary & Indian burial ground. Seller will put up fence. Listed by Castle Rock 21st Century. Ask for Steve.

For Sale: "L'il Einstein" chemistry & biology set. Most pieces intact. $25 or trade for new Tesla Coil. Ask for Vic or Iggy.

For Sale: Small Tiki doll with spear. Owner desperate to sell.

Wanted: Winter caretaker for luxury hotel in Colorado. Family members welcome. Drug & alcohol pre-screening required.

Free To Good Home: 3 year old Saint Bernard. Good with kids. Has had all shots.

For Sale: "Leather" face mask. Great condition. Must see to appreciate. Perfect for Halloween. Scare your friends. Scare complete strangers who show up at your creepy house in mid-Texas. $25 OBO. Large Chainsaw. Used but still runs great. Cuts through anything. $45 OBO

House For Sale: Large 2-story, 4 Bedroom house built on Indian burial ground. Backyard includes swimming pool & large man-eating tree. House includes a free television, clown, tiny high-voiced psychic woman. Easy access to schools, shopping, and 4th dimension. Ask for Craig T. Nelson.

For Sale or Trade: Used William Shatner Halloween mask. Stained. $4.50. Used machete. Needs sharpening. $6. Will sell both for $9. Ask for Mike.

For Rent: Quaint cabin location at Crystal Lake. All utilities included. Handyman on duty, will take care of chopping down trees and teenagers. Slow mover, but get's the job done. Ask for Jason.

For Sale: Slightly used fingerblade glove, in good condition. Good for hedge trimming, grout cleaning & hacking teenagers to death in their dreams. $15 OBO. Call ELM-2853, ask for Fred.

For Sale: Good Guy doll named Chucky that's possessed by the spirit of a Satanic psycho killer. Chucky is alive, cannot be killed, and has tried to kill my whole family. Asking $30, OBO. Shipping & handling is included. Act now, and I'll throw in a "Talky Tina" doll. Caution, you better be nice to her.

Room For Rent: Private house. Large kitchen, living area & large hole in basement w/ garden hose & bucket for lowering items (i.e. food, lotion, etc.). Must like small dogs & insects. Owner works at home as making "suits." Ask for Jamie Gumb.

For Sale: Ventriloquist doll named "Corky." Realistically moveable facial features. Able to hold items in hand such as flowers, knives, etc. Extremely lifelike.
Also available, ventriloquist doll named "Willy." Sits on your knee, tells jokes, laughs, and can get out of a trunk by itself. Comes with a damaged doll named "Wally."

For Sale: Fixer upper in need of TLC. 3 story, 8 bedroom + den, detached garage. Fireplace. Laboratory in basement. 1313 Mockingbird Lane.

For Sale: "Rubik's Cube" style box. Origin unknown. Ask for "Pinhead"

For Sale: 1958 Plymouth Fury. Excellent condition. Low miles. Owner has maintenance records.

Hits

While the fire has been bad for people, it unfortunately has been good for my hit meter. Forty yesterday & sixteen today.

I wish the referrals were for something other than searches about the fire.

Where are all the weirdoes looking for shock collars?

Continued…

So, I look to the north as I leave the house this morning & what do I see looming over the hills across the street? A huge column of smoke reaching into the sky. My heart jumped & then I realized that the smoke was coming from the mountain about 10 miles away from me. It’s so weird. It just seems like it’s not going to end.

At least not anytime soon.

***

Evacuations getting closer…

Most all of the mountain communities (at least those that haven’t burned to the ground) have mandatory evacuation orders. & now the evacs are starting to go into the lower mountain areas: Angelus Oaks, Barton Flats, Running Springs & Forest Falls. Forest Falls is getting too close.

Here’s another SB county geography lesson. Forest Falls is on the other side of a small mountain from Oak Glen, which is separated from Upper Yucaipa by a bunch of dead grass. & that part of Upper Yucaipa is only about 5 miles away from home. If the call goes out for voluntary evacs of Oak Glen, I’m leaving work & getting the Boy from school. I am not going to try to fight my way up there after the order goes out. I’ve already been in contact with the ex so that we know what we’ll be doing if the fire makes its way over the hills.

I’m feeling a little bit of panic starting to build up. I’m trying not to listen to Irene’s talk of this being a terrorist attempt to spread our firefighters out thin & then attack. I’m trying not to succumb to the idea that this is some serial arsonist. I’m trying to stay calm & rational. Normally in these situations I am calm. I take care of what needs to be taken care of &, after it’s all over, let the shakes & nerves go. This time, though, I don’t know. I just want to have the Boy & T with me, so that I know he’s safe & that I would have some support from her.

I think I might have some packing to do when I get home tonight.

***

Maybe sooner than that. The fire is starting to hit some areas of Mentone, a little town north of Yucaipa, just over the Crafton Hills. I keep getting conflicting reports as to whether or not there are any evacuations in the northeast part of town. It’s making me anxious. So, I will leave here shortly, pick up the Boy from school & pack a few things. Then, we wait.

I hate waiting.

Lousy fire.

***

OK, I picked up the Boy & we went to see if anything was going on up around the Mentone side of the hill. We found out that the road has been closed going toward Highway 38. The Boy's school is closed tomorrow due to the nasty air quality.

I keep waiting to hear an evacuation warning for the area. My nerves are on edge, expecting to see a wall of fire come over the hill at any moment. I'm probably getting my Fruit of the Looms in a knot over nothing, but...I dunno. I'm used to earthquakes - they're quick. You don't sit & wait for it to come. This is making me crazy.

Blue Shadows & Perpetual Sunset

We’re almost a week into one of the worst firestorms in recent history. For those of you outside of California or living under a rock, the two fires that I talked about in the previous post (the Grand Prix & the Old Fire) have merged into one big, forty mile long fire. I went to one of the lookouts on Saturday night (along with most of Yucaipa, apparently) to see how bad the fire was. I don’t think I have ever seen anything so frightening & at the same time as intriguing as what I saw that night. It looked like a giant, flaming snake, making it’s way through the mountains. Even from across the valley, I could see the flames reaching into the sky. The thought kept coming to me that I was watching people’s homes going up in flames.

There are still evacuations happening. The evac areas keep spreading wider & wider. I’m not sure which way the fire out in Hemet is going, but I’m starting to get a wee bit nervous. I stopped by the Boy’s school to drop off his backpack & told him to call me first, as I am much closer than the ex to his school, if anything happened. He proceeded to tall me that he figures by Wednesday there’ll be a fire in our area. Apparently the Boy’s been reading from his mom’s book of paranoia.

It’s odd looking outside. The sun is hidden behind a hazy cloud of smoke & the filtered light is giving the shadows an eerie blue tint. The ash is falling like snow & my eyes start burning as soon as I step outside. Even inside the warehouse it was getting smokey. We had to turn off the A/C & resort to fans in order to clear up the air. At the Boy’s school, their last recess was held under a rainy day schedule due to all the ash in the air.

This just keeps getting worse.

San Bernardino Geography lesson

-or-

Hell on Earth

My little corner of the world is a bit smokey right now. Since Tuesday, we've had a fire going in the west end of the valley, starting in Fontana & moving through Lytle Creek to Rancho Cucamonga & now making it's way to Alta Loma. My uncle just moved into the area about a month ago & had to be evacuated. Then, this morning, another fire started near Highway 18 & moving on down into the valley. The area from Devore to the San Manuel reservation in Highland has been evacuated. About 1,000 houses are in the way & already about 50 have been lost. Highland is about 10 miles north of me as the crow flies. I'm looking out at the Crafton Hills across the street, wondering if I'm going to wake up to an inferno. With the Santa Ana winds (referred to as "Devil Winds" - how appropriate) kicking up now, it's not entirely out of the realm of possibility.

I know that a lot of you loyal readers have no idea where all of these locations are that I've mentioned (& may not care, but, it's my blog, so thpppppt!). Let me try to give you a rough idea of the layout. The San Bernardino valley is probably about 20 or so miles long & maybe 15-20 miles wide. It's surrounded from the west end & along the north end of the valley by the San Gabriel Mountains & by hills to the south. The Fontana fire (the "Grand Prix Fire" for those of you following the news) strated on the far west end of the valley. It spread west, going through Lytle Creek Canyon, which is forest land. Rancho Cucamonga sits on the opposite side of the canyon. Alta Loma is west of Cucamonga. A lot of what has burned has just been scrub brush, although I do believe about 6 homes were lost.

The second fire (the "Old Fire") stretches from Devore, which is north of Lytle Creek, along the foothills to Highland, with North San Bernardino right in the middle. That's about a 10-15 mile stretch. That fire is moving south, toward the city limits of San Bernardino. Devore isn't heavily populated, but North San Benardino is near the local state college & is much more densely populated.

The winds have died down enough so the air tankers can get going again. That will be a great help. Already, the evacuation center at San Bernardino International Airport (formerly Norton AFB, my old stomping grounds) is full, so authorities have set up a new site at the Orange Show Fairgrounds. One of the shelters that had been opened earlier in the week has been reopened for evacuees of the Grand Prix fire.

The power keeps flickering, due to there being transmission lines going through the fire zones, so I'll wrap this up for now.

Might have to go pick up some marshmallows.

Thanks

Before I forget, I want to say "Thank You" to the checker at Staters in Yucaipa & the gentleman in line behind me, even though they may never see this.

Acts of kindness like the ones you displayed reaffirm my belief that the world isn't such a bad place after all.

Thank you both.

Ooo-kaaay...

I was looking through my stats & noticed a referral from someone looking up "shock collar" in a search engine.

Maybe my idea's catching on.

That's a scary thought.

Brain Misfires

My mind is frightening sometimes.

Last Sunday, while sitting in the main service, I suddenly had the urge to try to name all of the characters on the show “Roseanne.” I don't know why. I got almost everybody but could not remember the name of the oldest daughter. I could remember the actresses who played her, I could remember everyone else’s names, but I could not for the life of me remember that character’s name. Finally, about 45 minutes later, I remembered her name while sitting in traffic. I’m sure the people sitting next to me thought I was having a seizure or something as I did a happy dance after having my “Eureka!” moment.

Then today, I was staring at my monitor at work & then looked down at my hand. This reminded me of an episode of “Little House on the Prairie”, in which a black man is falsely accused of locking someone in the ice cellar or throwing them down a well or pinching Mrs. Olsen’s bustle or something. Anyway, they have a trial & are ready to run him out of town when Pa Ingalls points out the man is missing his ring finger (hehe…”points out”…”missing…finger”. Get it? "Finger." "Point." Dontcha...? Ah, whatever.). You see, the whole case was based on one piece of evidence: a handprint left on a wall at the scene of the crime. Why nobody tried holding his hand up to the print on the wall in the first place, I do not know.

Yes, readers, I know, I need a new hobby.

Or professional help.

One of the two.

Uhh...

I stopped by Sav-On on the way home to grab a few things. I realized as I was walking to the check-out that I had in my hands the following:

3 cans of ravioli (3 for $3 - score!)
1 4-Pack of toilet paper
1 box of chewable Pepto Bismol

Yes, it's going to be partytime as Casa de Jay tonight.

Another One Bites The Dust

Ah, time to look back on another year. To reflect upon the events of the past year & contemplate the days to come.

*contemplative pause*

Hmm...not a bad run. A few bumps here & there, but our hero seems to have made it through to 32 none the worse for the experience. In fact, it kept getting better as it went along.

Here's to the new year - onward & upward.

Time for a B-day shower.

Alright already!

Here's the next little part of my adventure. You can all stop sending me threats. I promise to get the rest of the story out faster. Enjoy, kiddies!

Homecoming

I finally made it to the end of the terminal & there she was. She was beautiful, more than I had imagined. I couldn’t get to her fast enough. I had a smile so big across my face that I almost dislocated my jaw. I ran to her, dropped my bag & held her. For the first time, I felt her in my arms. &, yes, she was a perfect fit. We kissed. Perfect there too. We just looked at each other. I imagine that we both were trying to take in all that was happening.

We walked out of the airport, hand in hand (yet another perfect fit) & I just kept looking at her, marveling at how much more beautiful she was in person. I just couldn’t get over the fact that she was finally by my side. I felt like I had finally come home.

We went to have lunch at a little Italian place near the airport. It’s been years since I’ve been asked “Smoking or non-smoking?” I’m just * so * spoiled out here in health conscious California...peh. We were both a little nervous, but I think T was more so than I. There were a few awkward pauses here & there. Soon, though, the nervousness passed. She was a bit afraid that she wasn’t what I was expecting & that I would be disappointed. I was a little worried that she might be disappointed with what she saw too. I mean, I’m an all around great guy & all, but some people just don’t appreciate the greatness that is Jay. * ahem * Anyway, nothing could be further from the truth. I fell more in love with her the moment I first laid eyes on her.

She showed me the sights around town. I was amazed at how different things were back there. Everything, even in the “Big City”, is very laid back. Traffic’s not nearly as bad as it is out here. I learned that turn signals are an extra option on most cars in Arkansas.

Other than the suicidal on-ramps in which you have to cross in front of oncoming traffic to get on the freeway (2 lanes – very strange), it seems like a nice place. I look forward to many more trips back there, especially the trip that brings T & I together for good.

* sigh * It's gonna be a looong next few months...

Jay’s Excellent Adventure

OK, I think I’ve got the notes from the first part of my trip together enough to commit to the ‘net. Here, for your consideration, is a rundown of my little trip.

The Adventure Begins – 10/2/03

Well, loyal readers, here I am at Ontario International Airport, ready to take off into the wild blue yonder. Checking in was much less complicated than I thought it would be (except for having to remove my boots – lousy shoe bomber). The terminal is starting to fill in & Milt McGiffin is repeatedly being paged to Gate 404. When I got to the waiting area at my gate it was fairly empty. I went to use the facilities & when I came back there had been a population explosion that rivaled some third world nations. Without the flies.

I’m sitting next to an older woman in a purple track suit who’s chewing spearmint gum. Couple that with the smell of my pre-meeting-T breath mint in my front pocket & it’s quite an assault on the olfactory senses. A minty fresh assault, but an assault none the less.

Southwest Flight #162 is now boarding. My purple tracksuited Double Mint Twin is apparently on the flight, so I will soon be left with just my own pepperminty freshness to keep me company.

* * *

Ugh! If I ever get to the point in life where matching top & bottom sets or black socks & Bermuda shorts become the fashion statement that I want to make – shoot me. Please. Really.

* * *

Sign over the America West gate:

…Flight departs 7:00am…Volunteers needed…

I guess that’s one way to cut costs.

* * *

OK, I’m officially on the plane, all snug in my seat. Let’s get this crate off the ground, people! I’ve got places to get to!

* * *

Engines firing up…taxing down the runway.

Up, up & awaaaaaaay!

* * *

I forgot just how beautiful the world is from up here. Ontario was a bit foggy, but once we got above it all, it was breathtaking, seeing the tip tops of the mountains peeking through a sea of poofy white cotton.

* * *

553 mph! Flying rocks!

* * *

Flying through turbulence is not helpful when trying to write (you’d have to see my note pad to understand).

* * *

“Our in-flight movies today are ‘Castaway’ & ‘Airport ’77.’ Enjoy!”

I wish.

Instead, I’m being subjected to “Legally Blonde.” The only thing that would make this movie better would be for the plane to hit a mountain.

Oh, the humanity!

* * *

The movie’s not so bad with The Pretenders & Iggy Pop playing on the CD player.

OK, it still is.

* * *

Can’t…stop…looking…at…movie.

I think I’m actually getting stupider.

Where’s that mountain?

* * *

Brain…melting * drool *

* * *

Ah, the food cart!

Breakfast – 1 banana, 1 Dr Pepper.

The breakfast of champions, my friends.

* * *

Perhaps drinking a Dr Pepper in a giant flying cigar tube at 30,000 feet wasn’t one of my finer ideas.

More to the point, perhaps slamming said Dr Pepper was not such a hot idea.

* * *

I’m looking out of the window & I have no idea where I am. There’s just dirt & hills. & I don’t care!

Ahh, vacation!

* * *

I’ve returned from the rear facility without being sucked out of the plane, although there was a disturbingly noticeable change in air pressure when I flushed.

Oh, & if anyone tries to tell you that they joined the “Mile High Club” in the bathroom of a 737 – they’re full of it. There’s barely enough room to turn around, let alone get your groove on.

* * *

I kid you not, there is a line from the restroom clear back to my aisle. Must’ve been something in the Corn Flakes they served for breakfast.

* * *

ETA 36 minutes.

We’re flying over Texas.

“The stars at night,
are big & bright!
Deep inna heart of Texas!”

* * *

I was just sat on.

* * *

Houston has the largest frickin’ airport in the world. I am finally onboard my last flight on the way to T. I have just completed a 12 mile death march from terminal A to terminal ZZZ. I thought I’d never get here. I figured they’d find me one day, wandering about the pilots lounge, living off of stale peanuts & leftover martini’s.

I am seated in the very last row of an incredibly small jet. I thought maybe I was going to find my seat out on the tail of the plane. Oh well, let’s just get going people! Time’s a’wastin’!

* * *

Here we gooooooo…

* * *

Houston has a lot of trees. Never knew that. Now I do.

* * *

It’s hard to believe – I’m less than an hour away from meeting the love of my life. One little hour from being able to finally hold her; from being able to see her right in fromnt of me.

* * *

20 minutes! Weeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaw!

* * *

OK, people – out of the way! Move! Move! Move!

* * *

Could they make this terminal any longer?

* * *

Oh wow. Wowowowowow…

There she is…

* * *

More later...

Withdrawals

I am going through some serious T withdrawals. I miss her so much. I keep looking at the picture of us together, thinking about her & how much I want her by my side; her hand in mine; to see her smile when I tell her how beautiful she is. I know I am hers & she is mine, but it still doesn’t help this detached feeling that I have right now. I feel like I’m far from home. When I got back to California, to Yucaipa, I didn’t feel like I’d come home. I opened my apartment door & felt like I was opening a motel room door, that I was just staying there temporarily. I talked to her last night & it felt like I was away on a trip & talking to T back home. I can’t believe it – for the first time in my life, I don’t want to be in California. I want to be back with her. If I could, I’d move out to be with her in a heartbeat.

I feel restless. I want to hop into the truck & drive out to be with her. I’m not a co-dependant, needy person. But T is so special. I want to be near her. I want to start our lives together soon.

I just want to hold her again. I want to come home again.

Crumbs, I miss her.

* * *

Perspective

I guess I’m wearing my feelings on my shoulder a bit. Everyone keeps asking what’s wrong. I need to pull out of this funk. I’m engaged to a beautiful woman who loves me as I love her – the time apart is only temporary. We’ll have the rest of our lives together.

Buck up, l’il camper! She’ll be here soon, faster than you know it.

Great…now I’m talking to myself.

* * *

Must…snap…out…of…funk.

Blah, blah, blah

I couldn't think of a snazzy entry title this morning (I've really gotta stop posting early in the morning).

I'm still culling all of my notes from my excellent adventure into a future post, but in between wrapping the Boy's wrist (broke it on Thursday) & fighting the urge to drive back out to T, I haven't had a chance to do much updating. &, as a shower is now calling me, I must run.

Just not enough hours in the day sometimes.

I'm Baaa-aaaack!

Yes, kiddies, I am back. I have many stories to tell but only a limited amount of consciousness left right now (not much sleep to be had with 2 screaming demon spawn in the plane).

I will give you this much: I may have to change the name of this site from "My Little Corner Of The Web" to "Our Little Corner Of The Web." Yup, loyal readers - T & I are engaged :) It was made official today.

More to come soon!

I love you, T :)

Greetings From Arkansas!

Well, loyal readers, I'm here! Finally here. I've finally met T face to face - & she's more wonderful than I could've ever imagined. From the moment I first saw her at the airport I haven't been able to take my eyes off of her. She's just...well...she's perfect. & I love her more than I thought I could love anyone.

I'll fill you in on all of the gory details of my whirlwind 3 city US tour later on.

Gotta run...I'll post more later.

Day…going…so…slooooooow

Good freakin’ grief, could this day drag on any longer? It’s just now hitting 2p out here. Three hours left of work & then go home, do laundry, get my stuff together then it’s Ny-Quil time, baby. Have to be up by 4a to get to the airport by 5:15a or so, as I have to be at the terminal to check in an hour & a half before my flight leaves (thank you, Al-Qeada). Then, 3 hours of anxious waiting as I take to the skies. A one-hour layover while waiting for my next flight, then one more hour & finally be able to see T. * sigh *

Crumbs…it’s only been 3 minutes since I last looked at the clock. ARRRRGH!!!

* *

* sigh * It’s only 3:16p now, an hour & fifteen minutes since I last wrote. This day is going soooo slooooow.

* *

ARRRRGH!!! It’s only been 3 minutes since I last wrote! Why am I being tortured like this? Why? Why?!?

* *

Ker-umbs! This is now officially the longest day in the history of the world.

* *

OK, sorry about all the whining. I have absolutely zero patience for waiting for surprises or gifts or anything like that. This is why I don’t like Christmas & birthday parties & all that kind of stuff. I mean, I do like the holidays, I just hate the antici…pation. I can remember one year at Christmas, I bugged my mom for days, asking if she’d gotten me a particular toy I wanted. I finally broke her & she said “Do you want me to tell you the rest of the things I got you?”

Little did she know, I’d already found all of the other gifts.

Butterflies

Well, here we are, in the home stretch to seeing T. I haven’t been nervous about it at all…until now. I know it’s irrational, that everything’s going to be fine. I know that we’re going to see each other for the first time & it’ll be…magic. But, from now until Thursday afternoon, the butterflies have taken up residence & are apparently holding an Ultimate Fighting Tournament in my stomach.

Lousy butterflies.

The Amazing Shark Boy

Yet another partner in email silliness & bad movie watching has started a site. Mainly to poke fun at Kevin's site, I think. Anyway, give Tim a looksee. He likes Depeche Mode.

A lot.

& ironing.

Hates sharks, though.

I've said it before & I'll say it again, I need more exciting friends.

Licenses & Shock Collars

One of the many glamorous duties that Blonde In The Corner, Irene & myself share here at the Company is to match up software licenses with the orders that print out. Sometimes, those licenses get forgotten, resulting in a mad dash to retrieve the delivery document before it disappears out on the picking floor. Irene suggested attaching a hammer to the license printer (which sits closest to her) so that when a license prints out, the hammer would hit her on the head (lightly, I’m sure), reminding her to get the license. My suggestion was to fit her with a shock collar that would give her a mildly unpleasant shock (initially) to remind her to get the license.

She wasn’t as keen on the idea as I was. Drat.

That got me to thinking, which led to the following list.

Submitted for your approval –

People Who Should Be Fitted With A Shock Collar

Telemarketers: just in case the Do Not Call list gets nixed. Again.

The judges that nixed the Do Not Call list:every time a telemarketer calls you, the judge can be “reminded” that we don’t want these calls.

The Company’s entire Customer Service department: so that every time they screw up an order & ask me to cancel it five minutes after I’ve processed it, I can “correct” them. I might “correct” them just for the fun of it.

Girls/women who think that midriff baring shirts meant for a size 4 look good on a size 27: because there are some things that should not be shared with the rest of the world.

Girls/women who wear low-rise jeans & a thong: see above.

People who drive slow in front of me through the Canyon: c’mon…you knew that slow drivers would be mentioned somewhere on the list.

People who say “aks”, “prolly”, “expresso”, etc.: The batteries on the collar would wear out in minutes from all the use.

People who write lists of rants about people who bug them: *fzzzzzzzzzp*

Fun With Emails

Sometimes, there is just way too much spare time:

From: Jay
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 12:55 PM
To: Tim; Kevin
Subject: FW: Cafe' Closing @ 2

REMINDER: The Cafe' will be closing Friday, September 26th @ 2:00 p.m. in
preparation for the public flogging of Kevin Schumm starting @ 5:00 p.m.

Wow...I had no idea this party was for you, Kevin. What did you do?

Jay

-----Original Message-----
From: Kevin
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 12:57 PM
To: Jay; Tim
Subject: RE: Cafe' Closing @ 2

I sent a strip-o-gram to Jack’s office.

How far did you get Tim?

-Kevin

-----Original Message-----
From: Jay
Sent: Thursday, September 25, 2003 12:58 PM
To: Kevin; Tim
Subject: RE: Cafe' Closing @ 2

"Ha-a-a-ppy Bi-i-i-i-irthday, Mis-ter D..."

Jay

Company Block Party

The Company used to have “Holiday” parties (conveniently named & timed so as not to offend any non-Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa/Voodoo Day celebrants). Now we have the annual “Block Party” instead. Feels like a bit of a gyp to me. Oh well, at least I had the pleasure of seeing the owner of the Company dance with a bunch of can-can girls.

Seven days…

Seven days. Seven days.

No, this post has nothing to do with killer videotapes or ominous phone calls from dead little girls.

At this time (11a or so) in seven days, I will be on a plane (actually, probably on a layover) on my way to see T. We talked about this three months ago. Seems to have taken forever to get here, but, here it is. Seven days…one hundred sixty-eight hours…ten thousand eighty minutes…six hundred four thousand eight hundred seconds…OK, I think you get the point.

ARRRR!

Figured I'd get my pirate-y talk in before the end of Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Shiver me timbers & all that rot.

Blogging in 11 ½ easy steps

I think the 9/11 post drained my creativity. I haven’t been able to think of anything terribly interesting to write about. Now I know why so many blogs tank after 6 months. This is hard work. Oh, I know I make it look so easy, but, believe you me, a lot goes on before a post is created. Here, loyal readers, is a rundown of the creation of a blog post.

Step 1 – Get to work
Work is where I do most of my writing. Gotta do something to look busy. Besides, writing letters to celebrities & signing Kevin & Tim’s names to them only takes up a small part of my day.

Step 2 – Think up something witty & amusing or deep & thought-provoking
Easier said than done. Checking the day’s headlines helps, but then you end up becoming an editorial site. Writing about personal experiences can get…well…personal. The easiest topic? Retarded drivers. There’s an abundance of them out there, so they’re easy pickins’ for being written about.

Step 3 – Start writing
Because, y’know, it makes it easier to read when there are actual letters on the page.

Step 4 - In a pinch – link
OK, technically, this isn’t a step. Think of it as a helpful hint. Links help take the pressure of actually writing something interesting off of you. Why cramp your own brain when you can get Angle-Grinder Man or the folks at the Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie site to entertain readers for you?

Step 4.5 – Reprint old post
Again, a helpful hint.

Step 4.5 – Reprint old post
Again, a helpful hint.

Oops.

Step 5 – Proofread
It’s not that hard, people. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen “your” instead of “you’re” & the various spellings of “there” used incorrectly. C’mon – it’s not that hard to check for spelling erors…errors. !@#$

Step 6 – Upload post to your site
Copy. Paste. Swear under your breath when you accidentally release the left mouse button before you finish highlighting the text. Copy. Paste. Swear a little more when you find that you still only copied half of the text. Copy. Paste. Vow to hunt down the person responsible for making your mouse & strangle them with the cable. COPY. PASTE. Swear out loud when the computer locks up or your connection gets dropped. Write manifesto about how technology is the devil’s tool & move to 6x10 cabin in Montana. Sell all possessions; invest in hooded sweat jackets & Aviator sunglasses.

Step 7 – Come to your senses, move back to civilization & try to get possessions back from opportunistic “friends”
Twits.

Step 8 – Test your page before publishing it
There’s nothing quite as irritating as finding out that your font is unreadable or that the graphics you included are all blank windows with little x’s.

Unless your pictures were of little x’s in the first place.

Step 8 – Publish that puppy!
There’s a certain bit of self-satisfaction when you see your thoughts put out there for the world to see.

Until you notice that you spelled “the” as “teh.”

Step 9 – Edit mistakes that you thought you had fixed the first time around
%@&$

Step 10 – Re-publish
Close your eyes & hope for the best.

If successful, pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

If not, bang head repeatedly against desk until desired level of unconsciousness is reached. Proceed to Step 11.

Step 11 –Regain consciousness, flip computer the "Double Deuce” & go watch TV
If you are the drinking type, drink heavily. If you are not, consider taking up heavy drinking.

There you have it. Blogging in 11 ½ easy steps. See? It’s not all that hard.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a manifesto to finish up.

Just when I think I’ve seen it all on the web…

Britain’s own superhero Angle-Grinder Man

*shaking head in disbelief*

Kevin Schumm Rules!

Check out Kevin as he goes throughout his day, drinking coffee &…uh…drinking more coffee.

I need more exciting friends. Or less caffeinated ones.

Losses

Wow...what a thing to wake up to.

Johnny Cash, 1932-2003
John Ritter, 1948-2003

Words fail…

I’ve been trying to write something thoughtful & meaningful about today. Something to honor those lost in the most cowardly act ever directed toward our home. I want to write something about the strength & courage of those left behind to deal with the loss & hurt & pain.

But, words fail me.

I’m still trying to filter this all through myself. It’s been two years. Two years & I still can’t get my mind around it. I understand the physical part of what happened. I just can’t get fathom the why. How can people hate so much? How can people be filled with so much anger at other people that they’d do something so horrible? Maybe I’ll never get an answer to those questions.

I didn’t want to make this into something about me, but I guess I need to get it out. Talking always helps, but apparently, everyone is too busy trying to ignore the significance of the day. There were only a couple channels carrying coverage of the ceremonies. The station that I listen to was too busy running its pledge drive to make notice of the day. I find it sad & pathetic that - oh boy! - we’ll get to see “Friends” but a show about 9/11 is relegated to a half hour between “Scrubs” & “ER.”

Meh. Never watch much TV anyway.

This may take a bit, so I ask that you bear with me.

I’ve read other sites & journals from people who were either there or knew people who were in the area. I know people who know others who lost loved ones. The events of two years ago didn’t affect me personally. I was fortunate that all of those I love (& those that I would come to love) were all safe. But, they affected me nonetheless. I remember waking up & turning on the radio to hear the DJ talking about two planes crashing (the first to hit the Towers & the Pentagon). I remember the disoriented feeling as I was trying to comprehend what I was seeing on TV. I can remember my mom calling & hearing the panic in her voice. I remember hearing Peter Jennings talking with an engineer who was there, speculating about what had occurred. I remember the Tower coming down & the engineer saying, “The Tower’s collapsing!” to which Mr. Jennings said something to the effect of “With all the smoke & debris falling it makes it look like that...” & the engineer coming back with “No – the Tower is falling!” I think Pete was having as hard of a time as the rest of us comprehending what was going on.

We spent all day at work, listening to the reports on the radio & watching streaming reports online. I felt numb. I didn’t know how to respond. I couldn’t think straight or concentrate on my work. We all contacted our customers that were in the areas that were hit to make sure everyone was OK. We waited for word of more attacks. We heard all of the rumors of other planes still out there & that some were unaccounted for. My office at that time was above a county office, which had been evacuated. In typical Company tradition, we were still there.

I wanted my son with me. I wanted to hold him & assure him that things were alright & to protect him. &, I suppose, get a little reassurance from him, knowing that that little part of my life was safe. He was afraid of planes for awhile. He knew that the planes had been grounded & told me that if I saw a plane flying at me to run toward it in an attempt to get out of the possible crash site. I tried to protect him from seeing too much. A week later, his mother & I attended his school’s open house. It was the day that the flight ban had been lifted. I remember us walking up to the school & hearing a plane…& stopping, looking for the plane in the sky. It had been a week since anyone had heard noise other than birds coming from the sky. & for the first time in my life, it was a sound that made me uneasy. Another parent walked by & jokingly said, “What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a plane before?” To this day, when I hear a plane going overhead & it reverses its engines or if I see a plane that isn’t following one of the normal flight paths, I get nervous.

Here I am, two years later. I’m watching the images (the few that are being shown on TV). I still don’t understand the why’s of it all. I don’t think I ever will. I guess the important thing is that I never forget. That none of us ever forget. It’s important to talk about it. It’s important to keep it fresh in our minds.

9/11 can’t just be a day. It can’t be a moment of silence & then back to the grind. It has to be a daily thing. & no, I don’t mean the destruction. I mean the unity that we had for a time after it happened. We need to think of others. We need to work together.

We need to remember our loved ones. Tell them that we love them. Hug them. Hold them. Don’t take them for granted.

Most of all, though, we can never forget.


9/11 StoriesVoices

Progress

As you can see, there have been a few changes in my little corner of the web. Thanks to T for help with the colors (if it's not black or flannel, I'm at a loss for mixing colors). I'm still trying to crack the sidebar font color code & after I figure that out, I need to transfer all of the changes to the archive pages. Boring stuff, to be sure, but I'm enjoying the challenge.

Take a nap. I'll wake you when I'm done.

Family

I talked to the Boy shortly after my last post about my relationship with T. He seems alright with it & wants to meet her. As he put it, he wants “to know everyone in my life.” He amazes me with how much he processes things. He said that he understood that I was trying to keep another incident like the last relationship from happening so he wouldn’t get hurt. He wanted to know when she's coming out here. He asked if we were going to get married & I told him it was a possibility. He wanted to know where any future siblings would live. Many questions from my little one.

He was really quiet afterward. I don’t know if maybe he was still holding out hope for the ex & I to get back together. I’ve told him before that it just wasn’t going to happen. I know that he wants a normal family with both the mom & dad at home. I want that for him. & for me.

I always wanted to have my own family like the one I grew up with (even though my little sister drove my nuts). I remember coming home after school & watching cartoons or playing outside. My dad would come home shortly after that & we were all together. We’d have dinner together & talk. & even if I went & hid in my room for the evening, I knew that right on the other side of the wall were two people who cared for me & loved me. I felt safe & secure. I want my son to feel that same security.

When Dad passed away, that security was shaken. Even though I was already out of the house, the security just didn't seem to be there. Mom did her best with my sister, who became a handful, but I think that Dad being gone was a bigger loss than we realized. He was really the only father my sister had known. He was my mentor, teaching me how to work on the car & change tires & how to fix things around the house. He helped feed my natural knack for understanding machines & how things worked. & he taught me how to be a good person & treat others with respect. I want to be my son's teacher & show him how to be a good man.

He was the rock in our family. Even though he was my stepfather, he never made my sister or me feel like we were anything other than his own children. Many of my friends didn’t even know that he wasn’t my real father until I mentioned it after he passed on. He loved us as his own. I’ve tried to model the father that I am after him. I probably haven’t done near the job that he did, but, even if I turn out to be half as good of a father as he was, I’ll be doing pretty good.

From the mouths of babes…

Well, it seems that the jig is up. A couple days ago, T (aka my Baby :) ) called while the Boy was home. He asked who I was talking to & I told him it was a friend (I haven’t told him about T yet. The ending [both times] of my last relationship was hard on him. He didn’t understand why we couldn’t go see the ex-gf & I couldn’t find the right way to explain it to him.). He didn’t buy it this time. As we were getting his school bag together, he said “I think you have a girlfriend.” I asked him what made him think that. That’s when he clammed up. He said that he couldn’t tell me because he’d get in trouble from his mom for telling. I hate it when she puts pressure on him by making him keep secrets. It’s too hard on him. He wants to be loyal to the both of us & doesn’t want to betray any trust that we put in him.

So, only after I promised that I wouldn’t say anything to the ex, he told me that his mom figured that I was probably seeing someone. So, I promised him that the next time he was with me I’d tell him all about T & I. Which will be good. I want to be able to share this wonderful blessing that I have with him, even though she’s a few hundred miles away.

Besides, later on down the road he’ll probably start wondering who this woman is that's always at our place. Better to tell him now than later.

Yaaaaawn...

My brain's too mushy to think of anything witty & charming to write. I had started writing something insightful last night about the end of summer & school starting & all that, but my computer decided it didn't like it as much as I did & made the executive decision to delete the post by crashing. I did dream that I went back to school last night, though. It started out fairly normal & then turned into Smallville meets 90210. Disturbing.

I really shouldn't try to write right after I wake up.

Oh, &, welcome back to the grind, Babe :D

Free Kid Vouchers

I received this email at work today.

To think, all this time we’ve been making kids the hard way:

From: Personnel
To: All Redlands

Knott’s Berry Farm FREE Kid Voucher

Knott's Berry Farm is offering a FREE Kid Voucher with each Adult ticket
purchased (a $10.50 savings!). Tickets are for one-day admission and sell
for $22.00 (adult) and are available at the Human Resources reception desk.
Free Kids Voucher is good through November 2, 2003. Free Child ticket is
redeemed at any Knott's ticket booth.

Gives new meaning to “Human Resources.”

Apologies…eventually

As you’ve no doubt gathered by the somewhat syrupy posts that have graced these pages, I am in love with a wonderful, beautiful woman. We met a few months ago with no intention of anything serious starting. Just a couple of people who enjoyed writing to each other. Then, unexpectedly, things sparked between us. Very good things. I fell for her more & more with every letter. I fought it, thinking “There’s too much distance between us. This couldn’t possibly work.” The more I fought, though, the harder I fell, until I couldn’t fight it anymore. Fortunately for me, she was falling for me as well. The distance between us grew shorter as our hearts grew closer together. Now, the distance isn’t so much of a barrier as it is a minor annoyance.

I love this woman. & she loves me. I feel like I’ve finally been united with the person who I was born for & who was born for me. She’s the perfect fit for this empty hole inside of me. I know that her hand will fit perfectly in mine. I know that my arms will be just the right size to hold her. & I know that I will never be able to find all of the words to tell her just how much she means to me. My world is brighter. Things don’t seem so bad, even when situations get a bit heavy. I feel like a better person just having her in my life. She makes me want to do better, to strive to be a better person. She makes me want to grow & become the spiritual & household leader that I was made to be. I want to be these things for her. I want to give her the best, because she deserves it.

The point of this post, though, before is turned into a proclamation of my love for my Precious One, was meant to be an apology to my online friends who I’ve not been the best about communicating with lately, as I have been a bit preoccupied. I want you all to know – Elly, Eternally, Stooph, Momnboss & Vaq, DakotaDan (if any of you happen to see this) & all of the others on my various IM & email contact lists – that you all mean the world to me. I haven’t forgotten you or the friendship that you’ve given to me. We’ve shared a lot – walking down the singles road together; seeing friends come together to become more than “just friends”; cheered each other on through personal victories. We’ve been there for each other through good & bad; laughed & cried & prayed & then laughed again; lent a shoulder after the loss of loved ones & an ear to listen to the stories about the gaining of new loves. Even though I’ve never had the pleasure of being able to sit & chat over a cup of tea face to face with you all (quiet, Jess ;) ), it’s been an honor to get to know you over the ‘net.

It’s said that a warrior’s greatness is measured by the enemies he has, but that a man’s greatness is measured by the friends he keeps. If that’s the case, then I am one of the greatest men in the world – blessed in love & in friendship.

Changes...saved this time

Still a work in progress, but I'm slowly unlocking how this thing works.

Yay me...

Changes

As you can see, I figured out the fonts. Still a work in progress.

After typing this, I realized that I hit cancel instead of save. D'oh!

Font changes later.

Realjukebox Blues

I think my computer is in serious need of some maintenance, as well as some more memory. If I have another weekend with it like this past weekend, though, maintenance will be the least of the machine’s problems.

Lately, since I had to switch back to dialup, the computer’s been acting funny. Maybe it feels that dialup is beneath it, I don’t know. It seizes up really easy, resulting in many frustrating reboots of varying methods (the start menu, the reset button, my foot, etc.).

In addtion to the computers own problems, I recently decided to switch from Realjukebox over to WinAmp via a short dalliance with Musicmatch’s jukebox. I downloaded WinAmp & was pleased with the ease of use & the fact that it sounded better than RJB. The only problem was that it would crash if I tried to listen to it while online. & when I say crash, I mean crashing so bad that it refused to come back up until I rebooted the system. & when it did, all of the music files that I uploaded to it were wiped out. Musicmatch was just a pain to use. Not user-friendly in the least. So, I grudgingly went back to using RJB, which responded like a woman who had been wronged. It would play & then lock up the computer. It refused (& still does) to copy any songs on a disc beyond track 10 (& before any of you RIAA goons who may stumble across this site get any ideas, these were discs that I own & that aren’t going any further than my machine). All in all, very aggravating. So, like a man trying to make up for some marital indiscretion by buying flowers or jewelry, I set about removing the offending jukeboxes from the computer, trying to make RJB happy. This still resulted in many exchanges much like the following:

Me: * insert CD, choose tracks, record *
RJB: Track 1, Recording 10% complete, 50% complete, 100%, recorded
Me: Good
RJB: Track 7, Recording 10% complete, 50% complete, 100%, recorded
Me: Excellent
RJB: Track 15, Recording 1% complete…RJB can’t read your disc. Please make sure your settings are correct.
Me: Sigh... * clicks record again *
RJB: Track 15, Recording 1% complete…RJB can’t read your disc. Please make sure your settings are correct.
Me: Grrr…* clicks record again *
RJB: You think I’m going to record your disc after you ran around with that harlot WinAmp? You’ve got another thing coming.
Me: Grrrrrrrrrrrr…* clicks record again while trying to stifle back a few choice words *
RJB: Not to mention that tramp Musicmatch. Let’s see how you like this - * system locks up *
Me: ARRRRRRRGH!!! Dirty words!!! Dirty words!!!

Afterward, I’d turn off the machine & walk away. Then, as if I was being challenged, I’d run back, fire the computer up & try again. Which resulted again in the above exchange & the added bonus of me having a mini breakdown. Finally, RJB decided that I’d had enough & started to cooperate. I think I’m still going to be sleeping on the virtual couch for a bit, but RJB & I should be kissing & making up soon.

I just hope it doesn’t find out about Windows Media Player.

Slowly but surely...

OK, I figured out how to italicize some of the font.

One small step for Jay...

Next up - changing the fonts.

* sigh * I need to get out more.

...& furthermore...

I'm sick of how this site looks. I reeeeally need to change it. If any of you that happen to stumble across here know anything about HTML & design & would like to get your good deed of the day taken care of by giving me a few pointers, ping me.

The Last Straw

Well, I've finally had it with "The Company." I've had it with working for idiots that couldn't manage their way out of a paper bag. I've had it with obnoxious co-workers. I've had it with crummy working conditions (8 months & I still can't get any paperclips). There are so many things. I've...just...had...it. So, now, instead of looking simply for parttime work, I am going to focus on a new fulltime position. Preferably one that pays enough so that I won't have to find a second job. Something a bit more challenging that printing & marking up orders 5 times a day. ARRRRGH!!! I am so sick of this place. 8 years with the Company. I don't know that most of those years have been a waste. The other departments I worked in weren't too bad (although Office Services had its share of drama). But the warehouse is an absolute waste of my time. & I'm sick of it. I really hope that I don't get called in for a "chat" tomorrow because it's not likely to be very pretty. Hopefully I'll have calmed down by then, but they're still liable to get an earful. I just pray that God guide my words & hold my tongue.

I need to go to the cages & hit a few baseballs around...name each one of them after a manager or picker or processor. Smack each one into oblivion. Grrrr...

*sigh* I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...I just can't get to the end of the tunnel fast enough.