Monday, June 30, 2003

Creative Backlog

I took up writing as a way to get my creative juices flowing again. I've been an artist of sorts, drawing whatever came into my mind & doing it quite easily, for as long as I can remember. But, it's been over 2 years since I've been able to pick up a pencil & just enjoy letting my imagination go. 2 years ago I had, what was for me, a pretty traumatic experience & during that was told that my drawings looked evil & demonic. It wasn't so much what was said but who said it. Others have told me that my drawings are really good & imaginative & that I should keep on drawing & not care what people think (the irony of that sentence is not lost on me). But, for some reason, I just haven't had the desire. I pick up a pencil, doodle a bit & then get frustrated because nothing comes out.

So, a friend of mine suggested writing. I've never been a writer - not a storywriter, at least. I do find writing or chatting online with people easier than face-to-face communication. After perusing & reading other journal & blog sites, I figured that would be a good outlet for me.

Well, here I am.

& I can't think of a blessed thing to write.

* sigh *

Thursday, June 26, 2003

A new post & then it's off to hunt for more work. Oh, joy.



8:45a – A Note To The Idiot On The Freeway

Dear Moron in the Teal Green T-Bird –
In case you didn’t notice, the freeway was a little wet this morning. Being Californians, most of us don’t know how to drive on rain slicked freeways. We freak out when there’s dew on the car. Any minute now, Channel 4 News should be sending out their people to report on “Stormwatch 2003”, as they tend to do when more than 3 drops of precipitation fall in Southern California.

Since we tend to get a bit skittish on wet roads, it’s probably not a good idea for you to dart in & out of cars that are only 1 car length apart from each other while doing 90 mph. I realize that you are far more important than the rest of us & deserve to get where you want to go because you are just so * special *. Just be warned that if you get into an accident in front of me, causing me to be stuck in traffic for an hour because you didn’t have enough frickin’ sense to slow down, when I get to the accident scene, I will pull over…I will get out of my truck…I will walk over to your twisted wreck of a car…& I will punch you in the nose.


12:36p - June Gloom

It’s still cool & grey outside. The smell of moisture is heavy in the air. It seems quieter even. Although I am a desert rat through & through & need the heat, I love this kind of weather. It reminds me of fall. It’s funny how you change as you get older. As a kid, you can’t wait for school to be out & summer to start. Then you get older & you find that the other seasons have certain charms. The smell of orange blossoms in spring. The color of the leaves in fall. A walk under a crisp, starlit winter night.

I myself am a fall person. Autumn has taken its place as “Favorite Season” (& not just because my birthday’s in October - only 4 more shopping months!). I’ve tried to distance myself from the Halloween-type festivities, for personal & spiritual reasons, although “The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow” is still my favorite Halloween story & a haunted house is always oodles of fun. There’s just something about autumn. Clear starry skies. Cooler days & nights. A warm fire at a friend’s house. Trips to the pumpkin patch with the Boy. The apple orchards & shops in Oak Glen get all done up in their 1700’s style garb. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than a slice of fresh apple pie & a cup of hot cider in Oak Glen. Ah, sounds like a little piece of Heaven.

Monday, June 23, 2003

A mini review before I head off to Dreamland.

A triple feature at the McDowell Uno-Plex: Gladiator, Blazing Saddles & Monty Python's Flying Circus, Vol. 1.

Gladiator (minor spoiler alert)- Lotsa heads & blood flying all over the place. I really wanted Crowe to kick the crap out of Joaquin Phoenix's character. Was glad when he did. The opening reminded me of any given Sergio Leone movie, but I like those, so it worked for me. Some of the special effects, however, were less than special. But the bloodshed more than made up for it. I will admit to liking "The 13th Warrior" a bit better though.

Blazing Saddles - the campfire scene. Need I say more?

Monty Python - Typical fun with cross-dressing Englishmen. The "Identifying Trees From Very Far Away" was good. "The Worlds Deadliest Joke" & the interview in which John Cleese keeps calling the interviewee "Sugar Plum" & "Angel Drawers" are crack-ups. There's about 50 billion Flying Circus discs on Netflix, so I will have no shortage of people yelling "Strewth!" (whatever that means) & Terry Gilliam talking in a high-pitched woman's voice. Thank goodness for subtitles.

All in all, a good viewing at the McDowell Uno-Plex.

Gladiator - 7 Eyeballs

Blazing Saddles - 10 Eyeballs

Monty Python - 8 Eyeballs
You're getting 2 for 1 today.

You've been sufficiently warned.


Piña y Queso

I went to the vending machine for my usual breakfast of Dr. Pepper. While digging out the change for the soda, I noticed in the snack machine next to the soda machine a curious little delicacy called “Piña y Queso” or “Pineapple & Cheese” for you non-Español speakers.

It was sitting there in its row, all alone in it’s informatively decorated package (it had a drawing of a pineapple & a cheese wedge, in case you didn’t understand Spanish & had no one around to translate), right in between a Nutty Crunch & a pack of mini-donuts. The adventurous side of me almost convinced me to purchase this oddity, if for nothing else than to sit in the office & read the wrapper in my best Telemundo announcer voice (“¡Piña y queso! ¡Es muy bueno! ¡Es lleno de calidad de la piña-y!“). But my sense of self preservation kept me from buying & possibly ingesting the thing. There are certain things that just don’t go together: pineapple & cheese; chocolate & orange juice (try it once & you’ll agree); seaweed & get the idea.

Who thought this combination was a good idea? Is this considered a delicacy in Latin American countries? What marketing genius thought “Hey! You know what this country is sorely missing from it’s diet? PINEAPPLE & CHEESE SNACKS! The kid’s will love ‘em!”?

Oh well. The don’t have anything on my tuna/macaroni/peas surprise! Mmmm...tunacaroni * drool *


Adventures In 21st Century Dating

So, it’s been about 7 months since my last relationship ended. A few months ago, I decided to get back in the saddle again & see what I could find. Not having any luck in the 3 dimensional world, I turned to the seedy underworld of internet dating services. 4 months + 4 sites + $70 (OK, I got $50 back) = 1 date. 1 date out of all of that hunting. 1 date that didn’t pan out (although I did make a friend out of the deal…not bad :)). On the last site I’d been on, I’d been “viewed” many times (I felt like I was in a window display) & chit chatted with a few ladies. But, the one major drawback to that site is that you couldn't narrow down the search area. Sure, you could view your state, but California is a big frickin’ state!!! It’s be one thing if I were in, say, Rhode Island or Alaska where people live fairly close together. So far, San Diego & the Central Coast seem to be hotbeds of single, eligible ladies. Unfortunately, I’m smack dab in the middle of the two. & beings there’s a city ordinance where I live that any attractive women living in my town must be still in high school or married, that kinda leaves me without much game to hunt. Of course, if I were into scrawny, smoking, tattooed crack addicts, I’d be having dates every night of the week! Maybe I need to lower my standards…hmm.

(Future Jay: I've since quit the whole online dating mess & have decided to go back to the more traditional form of mate hunting - bait & a big club.)

Sunday, June 22, 2003

The first in a series of old ramblings.

Collect 'em! Trade 'em with your friends!


7:30a or so - Take Your Blog to Work Day

Ah, another fine day at the office. The air conditioner has come on early, so, Club Med (as it's called by those less fortunate denizens of the packing floor) is seeing temperatures close to subfreezing. The order processing system is down, but what else is new? It's beautiful outside, but as I have no windows in my office, I can't sit & daydream about escaping. I think the powers that be realized that could be a problem & so have put me in the dungeon to try & break my spirit. Many have tried & all have failed, hehehe.

I work in the shipping department of a software company. More specifically, I work in a warehouse, where the temperatures range from blazing hot in the summer to frigid in the winter with no happy medium in between. When I'm not fielding phone calls & emails from people who have no concept of the idea of double checking their work before saving it, thus causing many a headache for our hero, or dazzling women with my wit & charm (hey, I had a DHL rep tell me that it was a pleasure to have been able to talk to me. Sure, she sounded like she was in her 50's, but ego stroking is ego stroking, my friends), I sit & create the illusion that I'm actually a productive part of the company. This involves making spreadsheets that pretty much do nothing except repeat the same information over & over again, just in many different & FAH-bulous ways & occasionally I switch pages back & forth to make it look like I'm perusing something. Leaning forward with your chin in your hand adds just the right "I'm intently working on something of vital necessity for the company" touch.

9:57a - The Beast Awakens

Well, the processing system seems to be up & running. Having personally crashed the system a couple times & thus knowing that I have this incredible power, I take a perverse pleasure in seeing it incapacitated from time to time. Just the little sadist in me, I guess.

10:16a - Poison Gas

As you can tell, I've a lot of time on my hands this morning.

Both of my coworkers are complaining of health problems. The "Blonde In The Corner", referred to as such because I can never, EVER remember her name, is feeling like crap. Looks bad too. "Irene", as I for some unknown reason started calling the woman in the other corner, said she's feeling really sleepy. Couple all of these ailments with my recent bout of confusion, the left side of my body going dead & me being more irritable than usual & I've come to the conclusion that we are secretly being experimented on with poison gas. I don't know who's behind it yet - the Company? The Government? Carrot Top? I dunno. What I do know is that every afternoon there is a foul smell coming through the vents (you'd think if they didn't want us to know we were being used as guinea pigs, they'd use an odorless gas, but, what do I know?). Some boxes were just brought into the office covered in a suspicious dust, which I think is probably anthrax. I'll let you know once the tests come back.

Now it smells like peanut butter…Mr. Peanut has been added to the list of suspects.

11:25a - Taking the Blog to lunch

C'mon, Blog…let's go to Burger King.

12:46p - Fat, dumb & happy

Now that I'm fed (kudos to the good folks at Burger King), I'm ready for a nap. A well fed Jay means a happy (& safe from being bitten) office.

1:49p - Shave the Planet!

I'm totally fascinated with the back of my wrist/forearm junction where the hair was shaved off in order to insert an IV last week (BTW, Good Job, One-Stick Kip!). It's so weird looking & feeling. It's kinda like when a man (or woman - ewwww!) shaves off their moustache. It feels cool & clammy for a bit, but intriguingly smooth. It looks like some miniature logging company clear-cut my forearm. I can't help but think of all of the animal species that were wiped out in the name of my health.

Irene just pointed out to me that the initials for "Blonde In The Corner" are a letter shy of a commonly used derogatory term. Hehehe…Purely unintentional, I assure you. Which makes it all that much funnier.

3:27p - Chickaboodlesoo

The weird things you hear when you're not paying attention.

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Hello World!

I've finally done it (I hope) - I've managed to make my presence known on the 'net.

*crickets chirping*

Well, I'm impressed.

You'll notice my initial set of blogs are from the past month or so. I decided to load those up & then get a regular routine writing schedule down. So please, indulge me for a bit. I promise to make it as funfilled, thought provoking & informative as I can :)