Saturday, October 30, 2004

Everything I Needed To Know About Life I Learned At Yesterday's Meeting

Yesterday, at our biweekly office meeting, The Boss had us do a teamwork exercise. In this exercise, we were required to pass two pens around in a circle of nine people.

Sounds simple so far, right?

Well, the catch was that there was one 'facilitator', & the facilitator was the only one that could confirm whether or not the pens could be passed to the next person. The object was to get the pens all the way around the cirle & back to the facilitator. Chaos ensued as people would forget what to do or get confused & freeze up altogether. This was supposed to show how to work as a team.

What did it show me?

That I don't play well with others.

I kept wanting to grab the pens & hand them to the facilitator myself. After I beat The Boss with the pens. The whole method was inefficient & it drove me nuts.

I'm betting this is why I never cared for team sports.
News Flash

REUTERS Gaza Strip - Palestinian leader Yassir Arafat announced today that he's entered the world of Gangsta Rap, planning a nine week tour of the Middle East & performing under the name "MC Ara Phat."

When asked about his sudden carreer move, Ara Phat stood up & replied "Yo! My name is Ara Phat/& I'm sure you'll see/That I'm the baddest rapper/over age sixty!"

He then threw a sign & yelled "Yo! West Bank for evah!"

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

"I love it when a plan comes together!" - Hannibal, The A-Team

Yes, oh yes I do!

I'm thinking that this whole court mess that the ex thought she'd kick up just didn't quite work out the way she wanted it to.

Can you say "She's out an extra fourteen hours of visitation that weren't hers to begin with"?

I knew you could.

Thursday, October 21, 2004


Contrary to what you may gather from this site, I am not some huge, raging "Full House" fan. Really. The show was forty-seven shades of annoying. But for some reason, they've become a fixture here at MLCotW. The unofficial patron saints of my site, if you will. My site has become one of the many stops for people looking for info on Dave Coulier (but not the Olsen Twins, surprisingly) (Or, I should say, thankfully) (Preverts).

I don't know how. I don't know why.

Get over it.
The I Don't Think So (tm) Award

Ladies & Gentlemen, I welcome you to the first I Don't Think So (tm) Award ceremony, given to celebrate those people, places, situations & other nouns that, when you hear about them, make you shake your head & say "I don't think so."

Without further ado, I give you today's winner.

Don't ask me why, but on the radio this morning, I was listening to an interview with Vin Di Bona. For those unfamiliar with the name (which is probably most everyone), this is the man that has inflicted such atrocities on us as brought us such fine viewing fare as "America's Funniest Home Videos" & "Battle of the Network Stars I-IV." During the interview, he made the following comment:

Bob Saget, off camera or on stage...he's a rebel.

All together now - I Don't Think So!

Congratulations, Mr. Di Bona. You have just earned yourself the first I Don't Think So (tm) Award.

Let's give him a big round of applause, everyone!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

The 33rd Annual Jayfest

Continuing in the grand tradition of the 32nd Annual Jayfest, this one was celebrated with cool gifts & mucho yummy eats.

The haul:
Birthday greetings from Dave Coulier, John Stamos & an Olsen Twin (Bob Saget was a no-show...slacker!)
The Dark Knight Returns graphic novel
London Calling, the Legacy Edition from The Clash
A shirt & pullover
Some denero
Heart of the Wild by John Eldredge
The Star Wars DVD set, widescreen (natch)
A scrumptious dinner & dessert, made from scratch by my wonderful wife
My son wanting to be with me on my night
Rousing renditions of 'Happy Birthday' sung by my coworkers, my mom, T, her parents & The Boy's friends

All in all, a very good day.

Here's looking to the 34th Annual Jayfest.

Hope to see you there.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

*Crickets Chirping*

Is this thing still on? Hello? Hellooooo...

Yup, it's still on. Just quiet.

Not a lot to say, I suppose. Nothing really to rant about. No built up, road rage induced venom to spew. No stories about the idiots that inhabit the world around me that I haven't told you all a couple hundred times over.

I just feel...calm. Serene. Un-bitter. Non-angry.

Am I mellowing with age? Is thirty-somethingoranother the time when people start calming down? Yeesh! I hope not. I was rather looking forward to being a crotchety old man, sitting on the front porch in my bermuda shorts & black socks, squirting kids with the garden hose that dare to walk on my lawn. Yelling obscenities at the neighbor who lets his dog do his business in my yard. Being able to do odd things & just be looked as as "quirky" instead of the "weird" that I get now.

And the senior discounts.

Ah, yes - the senior discounts.

But I digress (I've always wanted to say that). I can't readily explain my recent descent into mellowness. I mean, I'm happier than I've ever been before in large part because of T. The Boy's doing better in school this year & has been a lot easier to deal with.

But, I still work in the same crappy job (although, I did finally make the "four feet to the left" move to the desk vacated by the Blonde In The Corner).

I still have to deal with the ex (but I have my beautiful wife to stand by my side when I do have to deal with the ex).

People at work still annoy me (but, I have a job).

People on the road still annoy me (but, I have a car, as underpowered for my taste as she may be).

People in general still annoy me (yeah...I don't think that's going to change any time soon).

I'm still putting on weight (but, I have food to eat).

Our plan to move to a house sometime last summer fell through (but, I at least have a roof over my head)

I guess maybe it's my perspective on things. When I look at the big grand scheme that is my life, things really don't seem so bad.

Definitely could be worse.