“Sometimes - I just have to go off on the stupid”

-or-

A quickie review of “The Simple Life”

Never have a group of letters formed into words rang more true (thanks to Amy for putting those letters together). I tried watching “The Simple Life” with Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie last night, just out of curiosity. To be honest, I really can’t stand reality shows. The last one that I watched with any regularnessity was “The Real World” when they were in Los Angeles. I’m sorry, but reality shows are about the furthest thing from reality. You want reality? Let’s try “The Real World: Yucaipa.” Watch as Jay gets up in the morning with a really bad case of Gumbyhead. Follow Jay as he goes to work & does his best to keep from going postal on idiot CSR’s. Spend the evening with Jay as he surfs the web for useless & bizarre sites.

Ahem...anyway, as I said, I tried watching Tweedle Dumb & Dumber last night. The sheer amount of raw stupidity generated by these two (Hilton in particular) was stunning. How these two have managed to function this long with nothing above the brainstem is nothing short of amazing. Prime examples:

When talking about Wal-Mart (Richie was asking if their hosts hung out there), Hilton asked, “What’s Wal-Mart?” & followed that gem up with something to the effect of “Do they sell walls?” My head started feeling numb at that point.

Later, the Wonder Twins are sent to the store to get some groceries (pigs feet, of course, because that’s what everybody in Arkansas eats…peh). One of the other items on the list was generic bottled water. A simple thing to find – for someone who knows what the word generic means. Yes - Hilton actually asked what generic meant. I realize that we run in different circles & that for some of us "generic" is a brand name & all, but fer cryin' out loud...

After that display of brilliance, I felt a pop in my brain & had to turn the channel, lest I suffered permanent brain damage.

So, to wrap this little review up, the show is beyond stupid. My advice? Find something more worthwhile to do than watch two oxygen starved brains try form coherent thoughts. I dunno…pick lint from your belly button & make a sweater. Alphabetize your utensil drawer. Make a self portrait out of macaroni & Elmer's glue. Any of these ideas would be a better & more productive way to spend the evening.