Sunday, May 30, 2004

Crazed Fan Letter Time

...Or - Guest Posting at Amy's Time.

Mine's already there. Let the celebrity restraining orders begin.

Go. Enjoy. Sit a spell.

And Mr. Money - it's all in good fun. Really. Keep shakin'!

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Good Bye, Little Guy

Despite our best efforts, the baby sparrow died yesterday.

Take care, Little Guy.

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

The Little Guy

We were going to wait a couple years before becoming parents. Best laid plans, I guess.

It happened Sunday, right on the sidewalk outside. We decided to take it inside, so that nothing would get hurt, as it's very delicate. T & I got a washcloth & heated it in the microwave & then wrapped the little guy up to keep it warm. It's still pretty small & isn't completely covered, so it gets cold easliy. Every time we'd open the washcloth, it'd start making noise. But with a little petting & attention, it would quiet down & relax. I think it's getting used to being handled.

The neighbors wanted to come see it. The Boy wanted to show his mom, but I told him that she didn't need to, as she's seen one before. I imagine she's seen quite a few, actually.

When we're not playing with it or petting it, we keep it in a shoebox with a heating pad underneath to keep it warm. I took it to work with me yesterday, because we'd planned on finding someone else who wanted it. The ladies at work ooo'd & aww'd over it when I took it out to check on it.

Since nobody wanted to take it, we decided to keep it until it gets a little bigger. T's going to run home after work to check on it. It gets lonely, you know (I can't take it everywhere - it'd get squished in my pants).

It'll be a sad day when I have to turn it loose into the world. It's been interesting watching & holding it; seeing it grow. But, I know it's for the best. After all, birds deserve to fly free.

Yes, T & I are the proud foster parents of a baby sparrow.

What did you think I was talking about?

Saturday, May 22, 2004

Here at last!

The weekend, that is. After the craptastic week that I just had, this weekend is more of a welcome respite than most.

Ahhh...sweet, sweet relaxation!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

The Wedding

Well, the Big Day finally rolled around. The Boy & I were taken to the church & were carefully led to our changing room (so as not to see the Bride before the wedding). The Boy looked really sharp in his suit. We got ready & then gave each other a once over, looking like a pair of monkeys grooming each other. Keeping a ten-year-old in a tux proved to be quite a challenge, but we made it, nonetheless.

Everyone kept asking if I was nervous. I honestly wasn't. I knew that I wanted to marry T, without a doubt. The only thing that I was concerned about was the ceremony itself going without any problems. T was feeling the same way & was close to making herself crazy with all of the last minute preparations. The night before, I told her that everything was going to be fine; that, when it was her time to walk down the aisle, the doors would open & everything would be a blur after that.

Turned out, I was right.

"Oh, the humanity!"

To keep myself occupied I helped light the bajillion candles we had in the church. More than a few of them were new candles & were emitting flames a good three to four inches tall & puffing out soot like a locomotive. I went around, with the help of T's father, trimming the wicks.

Now, if you want to know what the flame will look like once you've trimmed the wick, you have to have the candle lit whilst trimming. I would trim a little off the top, trying not to snuff out the flame, & the piece that I cut would frequently still be lit. Or, at least, still be a hot ember.

And, Loyal Readers, this is when I found out just how quickly tulle burns.

After I snipped one of the wicks, the still aflame piece fell off the blade of the scissors, falling into a bundle of tulle, which instantly caught fire & went up like the Hindenberg. Fortunately, T's dad & brother patted it out & only a small hole was made.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about a still smoldering ember that I had set in the paper towel in my hand. I was reminded, though, as the ember burned through the towel & into my bare hand. All this time, too, I had another snippet of the wick on the scissors. As I tried to extinguish the one in my hand, I watched in horror as the other piece fell off the blade & onto the carpet. After frantically stomping out the carpet, I decided that the wicks were fine as they were.

The fact that the church didn't burn down after this Inspector Clouseau-esque incident is a miracle in itself.

Is that "Songbird?" How about that? Is that it?

Eva Cassidy's "Songbird" was to be played while the mothers were being seated. It was also the cue for the Pastor, The Boy & myself to enter the church & assume our place at the altar. While we were waiting for the ceremony to begin, though, we had other music playing.

The three of us were sitting near the door where we were to enter, chit-chatting & whatnot. At the beginning of every song, The Boy would ask "Is that Songbird?", prompting me to start questioning it myself. It got to where I couldn't remember how the song started - & I was the only one who knew the song.

The person running the sound told us the playlist of songs before "Songbird," but that didn't help much when, due to some last minute seating, a couple more songs were added to the list to fill time. Eventually, I heard the familiar guitar that opens the song & in we went.

The time had finally arrived.

More to come...

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Jay & T's Excellent Adventure

OK, I had a gigantic outline made up & then realized that I'd still be sharing the adventures of our wedding & the drive out here by the time our 25th anniversary rolls around. Sssoooooo, I'm going to try to cut it down a bit. Maybe I'll share a few random things later, but for now, I give you (insert drumroll here) -


Ta daa!

Flight out

The flight on out was pretty uneventful. It was The Boy's first flight, so that, coupled with the ex probably filling his head full of crap (& showing him "Airport" & "Alive" repeatedly), made him understandably nervous. But, after we took off (& I pried him off my arm) he loved it. His eyes kind of bugged out when we hit turbulence right after take-off (Palm Springs is windy most all of the time), but other than that, he was fine. We got to tour the cockpit & they presented The Boy with a "First Flight" certificate & a card signed by the crew. Very cool, Delta. The rest of the flight involved The Boy pointing out things on the ground & how the clouds look from above them rather than below.

We made it to Atlanta in one piece (albeit $8 lighter - $5 for a PB&J lunch & $3 for a can of chips?) &, after a slight detour (When asked where the tram was to the next terminal, we were told to take the escalator down & the train would be right there. What they neglected to tell us was that we'd have to make a right down one of the corridors to get to said escalator. When I need directions, people, I need them all.), made it to the next flight.

That flight was fine until we got over Arkansas, where it was raining. We couldn't see anything from our vantage point & I'm willing to bet the crew couldn't see much from the front of the plane either. No sooner had the captain announced our landing than we were on the ground, making a landing on a slick runway that ended in the sound of tires screeching. Not something you want to hear on a plane.

T was there waiting for us. It was so good to see her again, knowing that I wasn't seeing my girlfriend or fiancee now, but rather the woman who would be my wife in a couple days.


After that, we went to the tux shop, then to dinner & then out to T's parent's house to introduce everyone. Then, we dropped off Mom, my sister & The Boy at the motel & T & I went to the church to see how things were coming along. T's sister & another friend of her's were still setting up, moving chairs about & applying tule to the place. They'd spent more than half the day decorating & preparing food & still had more to do (Thanks Steph, Cindy & Brown - it looked - & tasted - wonderful!).

I returned to the motel & crawled into bed, only to be awakened by the snoring of someone who shall remain nameless for the time being. I was beat from the trip & all the running around, but the noise was keeping me awake. So, I did what anyone craving sleep would do -

I took my pillow & crawled into the bathtub.

Motel 8 has surprisingly comfortable bathtubs. After a while, though, it began to get a little less than comfortable (& I had this horrible fear of waking up & finding someone using the toilet right next to my head), so, back to the bed I went, this time donning my headsets & popping in a CD. I guess I should've found something a little less rawkus than a mix disc with the Black Crowes & the Replacements, but it was dark & I was tired. Setting the disc player on continuous loop, I drifted off to sleep.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

"I'm not dead yet! I feel happy!"

Nope, not dead yet, Loyal Readers. Just still trying to get my bearing (& catch up on some sleep) after the Great North American Newlywed Road Trip of 2004. I'm also trying to get a recap of the events of the wedding & ensuing hijinks together.

Of course, I'm doing all this at work. And for some reason, they want me to actually do work related things while I'm there.


Saturday, May 08, 2004

I'm Baaa-aaaack!

Two planes, one layover, one tux, one absolutely perfect wedding & a bajillion miles spent staring at the road before us in a U-Haul & we're finally back home.

I'll update everyone on all the happenings of the past week a bit later, because today is the first (& only) "Fit T's Stuff Into the Apartment Day 2004." Oodles of fun will ensue, to be sure!

Gobs o' big thanks to Amy for watching over the place for me. It would've just been a blank screen without you.

Friday, May 07, 2004

Weirdest Bumper Sticker I Have Ever Personally Saw

While driving to Starbucks during my lunch I saw the weirdest bumper sticker:

What If The Whole World Farted At Once?

Brought to you by your guest host: Amy

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Bad Joke Day

Today was a crazy, busy day for me. I am still winding down. Something that helps put a smile on my face (and will hopefully but one on yours too) is a really bad joke. So I present you with a list of some bad jokes.

1. Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
3. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."
4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."
5. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."
7. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
8. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's Not Unusual."
9. Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaimed Daisy.
10. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
11. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy."
13. Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad, or maybe my older brother Colin or my younger brother Chin-Dao-Li . But I'm pretty sure it's Colin.
14. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
15. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are too high."
16. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"
17. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.
18. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
19. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
20. Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

Brought to you by your guest host: Amy

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Ok...It is your turn

Now that you have read Jay's fan is time to write your own.

Come join ETS and I for the Celebrity MadLibs Letter. Come play with us...

Brought to you by your guest blogger: Amy

Monday, May 03, 2004

If you haven't done so already...

A while back, I hosted a guest posting weekend. Luckily for me, your regular MLCotW host, Jay, posted this very fun fan letter (lucky for me because he was the only one to post anything). You will want to make yourself familiar with the fun fan letter if you hadn't read it sure to read it now...because tomorrow...well...tomorrow's post will be tied into it...and that is all I will tell you for now.

Oh and if you are wondering...I have NOT heard from Jay yet, of course the fog may be blocking my abilities to see the smoke signals or flares...

Brought to you by your guest host Amy
A Story Of Karma

Good Monday Morning to you readers of MLCotW!!!

I wanted to share with you a blog entry from of my regular reads...this entry entitled Turnabout Is Fair Play is the perfect example of Karma...or as Slaughter sings in their song Burnin' Bridges it's "Because whatever you comes back to you..."


Brought to you by your guest host Amy

Saturday, May 01, 2004

Movie Theater Joke


Movie Theater Mayhem!

A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you''re only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn''t budge. The usher became impatient.

"Sir," the usher said, "if you don''t get up from there, I''m going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.

"All right, buddy. What''s your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.

"The balcony."

Just something to make you chuckle....
Brought to you by your guest host Amy