My Super Power List

Being the geek that I am (not to be confused with being a ‘dork’ or a ‘dweeb’ or even [shudder] a ‘nerd’), I’ve been trying to figure out what my super power is. So, I’ve made a list of super powers that I don’t have & a list of ones that I do.

First up, the powers that I’m lacking:

Super speed

Flight

Superhuman strength

The ability to make my work complete itself just by staring at it

Time/space warping (although, I can do the ‘Time Warp’)

Dancing

Telepathy

Pyrokinesis

The ability to burp on command

Precognitive visions

Invulnerability


Now, the powers that I do possess:

Super good looks

Super modesty

Superhumanly strong, nigh invulnerable chin whiskers

Super flatus so powerful that it can rattle the windows & peel the paint off the walls – of the neighbor’s apartment

A super leadfoot

Super human belly button lint production

Super ability to shut my brain off & not have a single thought cross my mind at any given time

Super ability to grow hair in weird & completely useless places

Super strong stomach

Super annoying ability to draw super annoying people to my general vicinity

That’s a pretty impressive list. I think I’ll start designing my costume tonight - made completely from my super belly button lint!