Saturday, October 14, 2006

Jay- this better be the last email I get for you in my PO BOX or I will change boxes. These are definitely creepy. - Amy

Dearest Jay-

It had been awhile since I had received a letter from you...I was starting to worry about your welfare since you were writing me so regularly there for awhile that it started to creep me out just a little. It scared me just a little when you told me that you were able to distinguish my voice in Scooby and Scrappy-Doo, The Jetsons, Detention, Teen Titans and Muppet Babies. And then when you became a season ticket red-wings holder because I was one and ended up in the seats next to me- well that just pushed all my creep factor buttons. You do realize though that my "real" name is NOT Joey Gladstone right? Putting I (heart) JOEY GLADSTONE on the Jumbotron during that one game...uncalled for. The horrific memories of that day still haunt me..hold on a second while I compose myself.

Anyway- thank you for your interest in Shredderman- my new television show. Yes It is going to be a comedy and it is about a superhero called Shredderman- but that is all I can tell you right now. Unfortunately, nothing is slated to happen with it until 2007. I know that it is a long time for you to wait. I know that my appearance in Skating with Celebrities was not enough to hold you over. I do have a little bit of Skating with the Celebrities trivia for you. Did you know that I was frustrated with the toe picks on the ice skates and filed them off of my skates so they were more like hockey skates. Maybe they should have written something like that into my favorite movie THE CUTTING EDGE (who doesn't love the idea of a hockey player becoming a pairs skater- it was certainly a dream of mine).

I will tell you to keep your eye out for FARCE OF THE PENGUINS where I will be playing the voice of one of the penguins. It is a mockumentary of sorts on MARCH OF THE PENGUINS. It is hilarious material if I don't say so myself. And I might add the movie was written and directed by none other than Bob Sagat. I am sure, being such a big FULL HOUSE FAN, you know who Bob is. What I don't understand is why you don't follow his career the way you follow the careers of both John and I. Not that you aren't a great guy Jay and we are both very flattered and slightly freaked out about your...obsession devotion, but we really think you should turn at least some of your attentions on Bob. Poor Bob really feels left out you know.

So as my birthday present to you Jay, instead of the video you requested of me doing my impression of Mr. Woodchuck in nothing but a towel, I give you Bob Sagat. I will email you later with his personal contact information. Happy birthday big guy!

Sincerely, Dave

PS. Cut it out...I will not give you the contact information for "Michelle" and "DJ". Seriously. Cut. It. Out.