Thursday, October 05, 2006

Fermenting Asparagus

This morning, I walked into the nastier of the two men's rooms here at work. Unfortunately, someone was preparing the place for my arrival.

Apparently, this involves fermenting asparagus, because that's the only thing I can think of that could've made the stench that assaulted my nostrils when I entered. It didn't smell like, y'know...stuff. Nothing inside of the human body, dead or alive, should be able to make a smell like that.

I couldn't finish my business fast enough. I considered trying to cut things short, but decided to tough it out, all while holding my breath. I didn't want to breathe through my nose, for obvious reasons, & I didn't want to breathe through my mouth for fear of actually ingesting the offending particulates. I held my breath for as long as I could, but had to resort to breathing through a wet paper towel after I'd washed my hands in an effort to filter out that whatever it was that died in this person's alimentary tract.

I think I'm going to suggest investing in air fresheners at our next meeting. Or gas masks.