Sunday, January 11, 2004

Well, whaddya know? A new post...

I know it's a little late, but here's my New Years Resolution:

I will try to post more frequently, even if there's nothing interesting to write about. I'll make things up if I have to.

So, in keeping with this resolution, here's a new post. Enjoy!

It makes Nirvana look like my high school’s pep squad

Due to a tragic mishap involving the radio antenna, the only four stations we can get in the office with any regularity are 1) a rock station; 2) an urban/hip hop station; 3) an adult contemporary station; & 4) a country station.

At one time, the rock station used to play good music & was work friendly. Over the years, though, the music that they play has progressively sucked more & more & the DJ’s seem to be in a battle to see who can be the most vulgar & crude.

I can’t stand rap & R&B & the local hip/hop station is definitely not work friendly. I think my manager would have a coronary right in my office doorway if she heard some of what’s on that station.

Hmm…that gives me an idea. Anyway...

The adult contemporary station is apparently run by the Celine Dion fan club. When they’re not playing the Great White Source of All Evil, the rest of their music either lulls you into a coma or makes you want to slit your wrists as a means of escaping the screeching of Britney & Christina & the endless repetition of “Wind Beneath My Wings.” In addition, their DJ’s mind-numbing droning makes me want to commit violent acts against houseplants & mimes. Actually, anything makes me want to commit violent acts against mimes, but that’s a whole other post.

The only alternative is the country station. Without giving them too much free publicity, this station is reeeeeally irritating. The whole theme of the station is frogs. Everything, & I mean e-ver-y-thing is a pun using frog related words. The DJ’s names, the weather, the traffic reports (“…there’s a big pile-up on the “frog”way today…”) – everything. And the music? Ugh! Is it a rule now that country songs have to be about the most depressing subjects in the world? Lessee…there’s the song about a mom talking to God, begging Him not to take her sick daughter. Then there’s the other one about the guy who keeps asking, “please don’t take the girl” & you find out at the end of the song that he’s singing about his wife who's about to die after giving birth. What happened to the old country song formula of wife leaving/pickup truck/faithful old dog? It’s no wonder that the rest of the songs revolve around getting drunk. It’s the only way to escape the gloomy world that country music portrays. Given the themes surrounding most country songs, one would think that God hates country singers. I’m inclined to think that He just might.

Unfortunately, given the choices on the radio that we have in the office, the country station is the only work (& mime) safe station available. The obvious question is “Why don’t you bring in CD’s?” I do. It’s just that I can’t constantly be playing DJ & changing out discs all day. So, I do my best to keep from throwing things at the radio.

Sometimes I succeed.

So, until I get my boombox fixed or can shell out a few bucks for a new one, I will have to put up with twangy, heart-wrenching songs or twangy songs about getting plastered.

*Sigh* I need a drink...