Monday, June 07, 2004

By popular demand...

...I present to you -

The Larry Wilcox Fan Letter!

Ta daa!

Dear Larry Wilcox,

My name is John Doe & I am your #1 fan. I have watched & recorded every episode of "CHiP's" with you in it. Most people think that Erik Estrada was the main draw of the show, what with his white teeth & smooth dancing moves. But you, Larry, with your subtlety & low key demeanor were the reason that I tuned in (& continue to tune in on TNT). Whenever a customized Chevy van would do a barrel roll over a '71 Plymouth, Ponch would do his usual overacting. But not you, no sir. You remained calm & stoic faced in any situation, whether it be the aforementioned flying van or finding yourself in the center of a gaggle of rollerskating girls in bikinis. Good job, Larry! Good job!

When I was a kid, my friends & I would play "CHiP's" on our Huffy's with cards in the spokes to make the motorcycle sound. Although I looked more like Ponch than John, I still always wanted to pretend to be you. For 7 years straight, I wore my "John from CHiP's" costume for Halloween. My mom had to let it out a bit when I turned 16 & the outfit lasted me another two years. After I graduated from high school, I tried to join the California Highway Patrol (the real "CHiP's"), but they said that even though I had my own homemade CHP uniform & that it was very nice, they didn't have any openings & would call me back when something opened up. While that was 8 years ago, I still eagerly await their phone call. Sometimes I answer the phone with "California Highway Patrol, Officer John speaking," just in case it's them.

Anyway, you will always be the best part of the show. Erik Estrada is a shiny toothed hack.

And don't even get me started on "Bobby." What a loser.

Your #1 fan always

John Doe