Monday, February 11, 2008

The Answer!

For those two of you who played the “Name That Fib” game that I posted a couple weeks ago – all 2 of you (3, if you count The Boy, who played offline), here’s the answers to my list of interesting facts about me - & the one fib:

1. I’ve been in a music video. – True; I was in the video for Great White’s “Call It Rock & Roll!” OK, I was technically there when it was filmed & the camera panned over the crowd where I was standing. Unfortunately, the light cannons that swooped over the crowd managed to not be on me when the camera went by, so all you can see is a big group of people in a shadow.


2. I’ve found myself in the arms of a queen. – True; Apparently, when I was an infant, I was held by a Rose Queen. I was irresistible to women, even as a baby. They swooned, I tells ya – swooned!

3. I’ve had my artwork exhibited in public. – True; In 1st grade, we were given an assignment to make a Christmas card for the city that we lived in, Colton, that would be blown up & put on a billboard. The only stipulation: we couldn’t put “Merry Christmas Colton” on it (strange, as this was long before rampant PCness overtook everyone’s common sense). So, I made a picture of Santa in a sleigh being pulled by Rudolph – under a banner that read “Merry Christmas Colton” (no one was going to tell this little Rembrandt what to paint. I’ve since named the picture “Vato Santa,” as, because of the abundance of white background in the picture, Santa’s beard didn’t show up very well, so we painted it black, making it look like Santa’s rockin’ a goatee). All of this led to an article & picture in the local paper, as well.

Crap…I just realized that I spent my entire 15 minutes of fame in 1st grade. It’s all been downhill since then.

4. I’ve had an out-of-body experience. True; No, really! When I was about 12 years old, I passed out & hit my head on a cinderblock. While I was out, I could see myself - from up in the air! I could see one of my friends trying to wake me up & his sister running for help. Fortunately, no tunnels with bright lights at the end were involved & I recovered with a sweet scar on my head.

Chicks dig scars.

5. I hold dual citizenship: US & Canadian. – False; For some reason (I dunno, maybe because all three of the participants know me?) this was the one that everyone picked as a total fabrication. Maybe I should’ve gone with my first choice: US & Mongolian.

6. I’ve never drank, smoked or taken illicit drugs. – True; I’ve watched family suffer from the effects of all three, so I figured I didn’t need to tempt fate. Besides, I get enough alcohol from Ny-Quil.

7. When someone says that something is “better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick,” I know, firsthand, just how true that is. True; when I was about 6 or 7 years old, some friends & I were sword fighting with tree branches. The last thing I remember seeing before running off screaming, certain that my eyeball was hanging off the end of the stick, was the tip of one of the branches. Fortunately, it hit where my eyeball & socket meet, so the branch missed hitting anything vital.

8. I’m related to poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, former Vice-President Dan Quayle & pilgrim John Alden. True; Longfellow & Quayle are both direct descendants of John Alden, as am I. For those not up on their history, Alden was one of the Pilgrims that came over on the Mayflower.

He was also portrayed by Elmer Fudd in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.

9. My grandfather was a WWI vet, my dad a WWII vet, my step-dad a Korean War vet & I’m a Gulf War vet. True; My grandfather (on my dad’s side) was stationed overseas during WWI; my father was a radar operator on the USS Grapple in WWII; my step-dad, after finding out that he was a US citizen & having already joined the Royal Air Force, was given the option to return to the US, so long as he entered the draft. He did - & the Korean War broke out, wherein the Army sent him to Germany; & I joined the Air Force about a year before Desert Shield/Storm. I just knew something like that would happen.

10. I have a hard time differentiating left from right &, as a result, have resorted to just pointing & saying “Thataway.” True; Although my internal compass is seldom wrong & I can almost always find North by “feel” alone, I have a defective right/left processor. Since people asking which way to go frequently need an answer fast & they don’t have time for me to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, I just point when giving directions.

So, there you have it. Congrats to Amy, ETS & The Boy. Your prize of a hearty pat on the back & a “Job well done!” is in the mail.