You're getting 2 for 1 today.

You've been sufficiently warned.

6/4/03

Piña y Queso

I went to the vending machine for my usual breakfast of Dr. Pepper. While digging out the change for the soda, I noticed in the snack machine next to the soda machine a curious little delicacy called “Piña y Queso” or “Pineapple & Cheese” for you non-Español speakers.

It was sitting there in its row, all alone in it’s informatively decorated package (it had a drawing of a pineapple & a cheese wedge, in case you didn’t understand Spanish & had no one around to translate), right in between a Nutty Crunch & a pack of mini-donuts. The adventurous side of me almost convinced me to purchase this oddity, if for nothing else than to sit in the office & read the wrapper in my best Telemundo announcer voice (“¡Piña y queso! ¡Es muy bueno! ¡Es lleno de calidad de la piña-y!“). But my sense of self preservation kept me from buying & possibly ingesting the thing. There are certain things that just don’t go together: pineapple & cheese; chocolate & orange juice (try it once & you’ll agree); seaweed & ANYTHING...you get the idea.

Who thought this combination was a good idea? Is this considered a delicacy in Latin American countries? What marketing genius thought “Hey! You know what this country is sorely missing from it’s diet? PINEAPPLE & CHEESE SNACKS! The kid’s will love ‘em!”?

Oh well. The don’t have anything on my tuna/macaroni/peas surprise! Mmmm...tunacaroni * drool *


5/30/03

Adventures In 21st Century Dating

So, it’s been about 7 months since my last relationship ended. A few months ago, I decided to get back in the saddle again & see what I could find. Not having any luck in the 3 dimensional world, I turned to the seedy underworld of internet dating services. 4 months + 4 sites + $70 (OK, I got $50 back) = 1 date. 1 date out of all of that hunting. 1 date that didn’t pan out (although I did make a friend out of the deal…not bad :)). On the last site I’d been on, I’d been “viewed” many times (I felt like I was in a window display) & chit chatted with a few ladies. But, the one major drawback to that site is that you couldn't narrow down the search area. Sure, you could view your state, but California is a big frickin’ state!!! It’s be one thing if I were in, say, Rhode Island or Alaska where people live fairly close together. So far, San Diego & the Central Coast seem to be hotbeds of single, eligible ladies. Unfortunately, I’m smack dab in the middle of the two. & beings there’s a city ordinance where I live that any attractive women living in my town must be still in high school or married, that kinda leaves me without much game to hunt. Of course, if I were into scrawny, smoking, tattooed crack addicts, I’d be having dates every night of the week! Maybe I need to lower my standards…hmm.

(Future Jay: I've since quit the whole online dating mess & have decided to go back to the more traditional form of mate hunting - bait & a big club.)