Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Star Wars Interview 2

Hello again, Loyal Readers!

I’m pleased to bring you another interview with someone who’s been a part, in one way or another, of Star Wars history. Someone who, while not in an official Star Wars movie, made his mark in a movie nonetheless.

So, without a long, drawn out introduction, ladies & gentlemen, please help me give a warm welcome to – Star Wars Kid!

Me: Welcome, Star Wars Kid! Thank you for joining us here.

SWK: Thank you for having me. It’s nice to be out of my mom’s basement. By the way, I really liked your interview with Lobot.

Me: Thanks! That means a lot!

To bring my readers up to speed a bit, Star Wars Kid –

SWK: You can just call me “Kid.”

Me: Oh. I bet that’s what all your friends call you, eh?

SWK: No. I wish they would, though.

*sigh* If I had any friends.

(awkward silence)

Me: Um…OK…”Kid” is the star of the ‘net wide viral video sensation, “Star Wars Kid,” in which Kid shows off his mad lightsaber spinning skillz -

SWK: I’m so lonely…

Me: Yeah…well…I…I’m sure it’s not all that bad. The video’s been out for what, about six, seven years? I’m sure you’ve had all sorts of people wanting to be friends with the famous “Star Wars Kid!”

SWK: If by being my friend you mean giving me wedgies for the past seven years, then, yeah, I’m quite the celebrity.

Me: Um…let’s move on, shall we?

SWK: Sure. It’s not like I’ve got much on my calendar.

Me: That’s the spirit! So, what was your inspiration, other than the obvious, to create the video?

SWK: I made it to impress a girl in second period English. I gave it to her one day & the next week, it was posted on the internet.

I had to move to a different school after that.

Me: Uh…sorry to hear that. Kids can be so cruel.

SWK: Tell me about it. I went to nine different schools after that. I even got laughed out of some Amish school – they don’t even have computers!

Me: Well, let’s talk about what you’ve been up to lately. I understand that you…dude – did you just pick your nose?

SWK: Huh? Um…no?

Me: Yes you did! You had your finger like, two knuckles deep – hey! Don’t wipe it under the chair!

SWK: (waves hand in front of me) You didn’t see anything.

Me: Wha? Stop that!

SWK: These are not the boogers you’re looking for.

Me: Quit that! You’re not a Jedi!

SWK: Yes I am! (reaches out open hand toward my throat) I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Me: You’re not & I find your geekiness disturbing. Besides, that is the lamest Darth Vader Force choke I’ve ever seen.

SWK: You mock my mad Jedi skillz?!? (jumps up & extends a toy lightsaber) En garde!

Me: Oh, now you’re a French Jedi? You are such a weenie! No wonder you still get picked on!

SWK: No I don’t! I’m famous! I’m loved the whole ‘net over! I’ve got one of the most viewed videos on YouTube! (swings lightsaber at me)

Me: You just keep telling yourself that! You’re pathetic, you dateless wonder! (I parry with my own toy lightsaber which I carry around for just such events)

SWK: I am not! I just haven’t found the right girl!




SWK: THAT WASN”T NICE!!!! (misses me, stumbles & falls over) *sob* I’M TELLING MY MOM!!!!

Me: Bring it on, Staypuft! I’ll take you & your mom on!

SWK: (runs from room) MOOOOOOOooooooom…

Me: Well, that was certainly…interesting. Join me again for another interview with some obscure person who has some passing affiliation with Star Wars. Good night, & may the Force be with you!