Webster, A Teletubbie & The Batmobile

March 9th was the thirtyforth birthday of one Emmanuel Lewis, he of Webster & former Michael Jackson tote (now watch all of the Webster hits start pourin' in). To commemorate the occasion, Tim & I had the following conversation:

From: Jay
To: Tim

It's your birthday, Emmanuel Lewis!

He's 34 inches...er, I mean...years old today.

From: Tim
To: Jay

Hopefully Ma'am and George will have something special planned.

Tim.

From: Jay
To: Tim

Maybe they'll have a party for him at Chuck E. Cheese's.

They give the birthday boy free tokens, y'know.

-J

From: Tim
To: Jay

They could take him to Magic Mountain, but he'd only be able to go
on the kid rides.

From: Jay
To: Tim

Well, you must be so tall to ride the rides.

Maybe they could give him a roll of quarters & take him out in front
of K-Mart. All the rides are just his size there.

-J

From: Tim
To: Jay

My head would explode if I saw Emmanuel Lewis outside Kmart riding
some double-decker bus or Batmobile knockoff.

Just typing that caused a slight tremor.

From: Jay
To: Tim

Just imagine seeing him doing that, yelling "Ma'am, George! Let's go again!"

Now I'm picturing him doing that dressed as a Teletubbie. Talk about
your head exploding visions...

-J

From: Tim
To: Jay

To recap:

We are mentally picturing a 34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a
Teletubbie, riding a coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart?
Have you ever seen Logan's Run? At the end, the computer mainframe that controls society is confronted with a concept that it simply cannot comprehend that literally causes it to cease to function. That's what's happening to me right now. Thanks.

Holy 34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart, Batman!

What in the name of 34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a
coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart is going on here?!?!?!?!

Life is like 34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart.

From: Jay
To: Tim

Ow...my head asplode.

Some things are just too big to get one's mind around: The infinity of God. William Hung's rise to notoriety. And a 34-year -old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart.

Ow...there went my head again.

-J

From: Tim
To: Jay

Picturing this is like in "2001" when Dave looked into the Monolith and took the next step of evolution. I am now the Starbaby.

"34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart" is my monolith, and all I can say is "My Gosh, it's full of stars!"

From: Jay
To: Tim

"Open the pod bay doors, MA'AM."

Wow...a 34-year-old Emmanuel Lewis dressed as a Teletubbie, riding a
coin-operated Batmobile outside of Kmart is the next evolutionary step?

Darwin was *so* wrong.

-J