Tuesday, November 02, 2004

Anywhere But Here

As I write this, it's a little after 1030a. It seems like I've been at work a lot longer than two & a half hours. I woke up this morning with this intense desire to spend my day anywhere other than at work. I so envy ETS & her relaxationizing that she's taking part in. I, myself, have to wait another month or so to take a much needed break. Until then, though, one thing I need to do is to get out & about. Away from everything, even if it's just for a little bit.

Those that know me know that I'm not a people person. There are only a handful of people that I truly enjoy being around or even talking to on a regular basis. The rest? I could go a looooong time without seeing them. But, alas, it seems impossible to get away from these people. Most of these people I don't even know.

My drive home from work used to be a nice relaxing drive through a beautiful canyon. Orange groves all over the place. Horse ranches. No crowds. Then, everyone else started to take the same route. I had to stop taking that route because the traffic would back up &/or I'd inevitably get a slowpoke in front of me. The curse of being Mr. Popularity - everyone wants to be like me. That sounds a bit egotistical, but that's how I feel a lot of the time. That people seem to want to be around me. Not egotistical. Wait...that still sounded egotistical. Oh well - so be it.

My drive to work is the same way now. As with most places in So Cal in the mornings, the freeways are a nightmare. I took to driving through another canyon (yes, we have a few of them in the area). Again, it was quiet, not crowded & no traffic. I could listen to music. It was my "morning prayer time" as well - time to prepare myself, mentally & spiritually, for the day. Now, I sit in a line a block long to get into the canyon & another one out the other side. It takes me twenty minutes to go less than ten miles. Then, it takes twenty-five minutes to get back in the evening. I can't stand it anymore.

When I am at home, it's hardly a quiet evening when I get to listen to bass booming up through the floor. And when it's not coming from inside the apartment below, it's from a car. To their credit, the kids downstairs are apologetic about the noise & are quick to turn it down. But why should I have to go down there in the first place? You live in a frickin' apartment, people! Your home is attached to mine. I do my best not to stomp on your ceiling - can you show me the same courtesy & not rattle my floor?

My other neighbor likes to sit on his patio & smoke - which then wafts into my apartment, making it so I either have to put a fan in front of the door to keep the smoke out or close the door altogether.

Work's not much better. If you've followed this site for a bit, you know that I share my office with two other people. Of course, I'm the only one who likes having the door closed. My cellmates want it left open, or part way open, or just open enough to annoy the crap out of me. Then, we have people coming in & out constantly. It's noisy here all the time, with forklifts & cherrypickers & loud people & phones going all the time.

I just want peace. I want quiet. I want calm.

Last night, T came home late in the evening. We got The Boy to bed & then sat & drank some hot chocolate, had some Grant Lee Buffalo playing in the background & just talked. We just enjoyed each others company. I've missed that a lot lately. With her work schedule, I barely get to see her or spend any quality time with her. Last Wednesday was the first day in a long time that we spent together, just doing things together. We went & had breakfast & then milled around the mall in San Bernardino. We drove up to Oak Glen & had some hot cider & apple pie & listened to good music while it rained (& snowed a few feet higher - literally). We saw some deer going into one of the apple orchards. We went to a thrift store & had fun looking around. It was just a good day. It was nice to have her by my side instead of over a phone line.

I want to go somewhere where it's not crowded. Where the people that you do run into are nice & pleasant. I don't want to see traffic. I don't want to hear the drone of cars. I don't want to be in this office, having to listen to horns & lifts & people. I want to be able to go home & not hear my neighbors. I want to be able to sit outside & smell the night air, not have my nose assaulted by cigarette smoke. I want home to be a comfortable, inviting place.

I guess I just need a change. I'm sick of the things that bug me. I'm tired of being beaten down by the world around me.

Vacation can't get here quick enough.