Per Request

Note: I wrote this last Friday. The contents of my pockets have changed a bit, but I wasn't about to rewrite this whole thing, so...

*yaaaaaawn*

*streeeeeetch*

Wow...this place got dusty. Look at all the cobwebs. Kind of gives it a little seasonal ambiance, I think.

Anyway, Amy is apparently starved for some good quality entertainment & requested that I write something - anything. Even about the contents of my pockets. Well, Amy, since I aim to please here at MLCotW, I bring you -

THE CONTENTS OF JAY'S POCKETS

Let's start with the Right Front, shall we? First up, my key ring. My key ring is a fascinating collection of keys of various make & use. On the first ring, we have my non-descript apartment key; my mailbox key (an Ilco); another Ilco brand key (I have no idea what it goes to, but it balances out the ring that it's on); my YMCA membership fob (sadly unused as of late - but, hey, no naked men stories; that's a plus); my Air Force dog tag - hey! I'm a B Positive (a funny story - the tag is stamped with your religious preference. I had a friend who didn't choose a specific affiliation, so his was stamped NO DENOM. If you looked at it quickly, it looked like it said NO DEMON. OK, maybe that wasn't so funny. You can blame Amy for asking me to write again); & lastly, a brass key fob with an eagle & my favorite Bible verse, Isaiah 40:31, inscribed on it: "They that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run & not be weary; they shall walk & not faint." The second ring is home to my car keys, which, since T took the new car (Yay! We got a new car!), adds up to two - one, an official GM key & the other a copy (yet another Ilco - did they corner the market on key copies?). The third ring is simply there to hold rings one & two together. Just functional, not flashy.

Anything else in there? I had a dollar, but spent it on a Dew this morning, so, that's it for the Right Front. Oh, wait - the Watch Pocket, probably the most underutilized pocket on pants today. Not in mine, though, for I carry an actual pocket watch. On a chain! It classes me up a bit, y'know?

Moving along to the Left Front, where we'd usually find a wad of receipts (I refer to this pocket as my "filing cabinet," as I keep any important scraps of paper that I know I'll need later in there), but, I cleared all those out this morning, leaving just my MP3 player, which you wouldn't normally find in there. I've since moved it back to the safety of its padded case, where it's all snug & sound.

Making our way further east around the equator, we find the Left Butt Pocket. This is home to my work badge (I get work related discounts just about anywhere I go, so it pays to have my badge handy). I also use this pocket for pieces of paper that are too bulky to fit in the Left Front. Fascinating, yes?

We end our tour of the compartments of my pants with the Right Butt Pocket, home to my wallet & my ever present ink pen, complete with a rubber band around it to keep it from committing suicide & jumping out of the pocket all the time. My wallet is about 1 1/2 inches thick & about 3/4 of an inch of it I could probably get rid of. The current inventory consists of the following:

• My ATM card
• A Fantastic Sam's 12 for 11 Club card (only 4 more to go!)
• A business card from my bank
• A GameStop 'Edge' card (10%off used games! Woo hoo!)
• A Harry & David Preferred Customer card
• An outdated ATM card
• My medical insurance card
• A Superstar Video card
• Another outdated ATM card (I'm thinking I need to clear those out)
• Yet another medical insurance card - geez!
• A Park 'N Fly card
• A Hollywood Video card that I haven't used in about 5 years
• A Schlockbuster gift card that probably has about $.43 on it
• A business card from a city worker
• Another Superstar card (each location has its own card - is that retarded or what?)
• A business card from the pastor that met with us when my dad passed away
• A business card from the deputy that took my report when someone broke into one of the cars last year
• A business card from one of the thousands of local thrift/antique (read: old crap) stores in town
• My license
• The Boy's ATM card
• Pictures
• About 153 more business cards
• Another friggin' medical insurance card!!!
• Lint

So, there you have it. I hope that Amy & anyone else who still comes here in the vain attempt to find something new has enjoyed it.

As for me, I've got some ATM & insurance cards to shred.