18 Ways To Torment Your Co-Workers

Fill desk drawers with packing peanuts
Put tape over mouthpiece on phone
Apply copius amounts of Quik-Sort (a substance that looks a lot like ear wax & gets sticky as it dries) to the earpiece
Fill rubber finger with lotion
Fill rubber finger with Quik-Sort
Tape pens in pencil holder together
Tape calendar shut
Tape phone handset to the base
Tape stapler shut
Apply hand sanitizer to mouse & mousepad
Apply Quik-Sort to mouse
Neuter co-workers mouse

Things left to do to my co-workers:

Superglue armrests to underside of desk
Hang rubberbands all over desk
Rearrange keys on keyboard
Leave numerous voicemails (probably have to do that one from home)
Superglue desk drawers shut
Superglue inkstamps to their covers