Monday, January 15, 2007


With the arrival of the new year, I've renewed my resolve to get back into the swing of working out. So far, I've made it back about three times, with two of those times being this past week.

Since I started back in October, I've mentioned several of the psyche-scarring sights that I've been subjected to in the mens locker-room, most of them involving naked, hairy men.


A few nights ago, though, as I entered the locker-room, trying not to breath in the nasty, bowling alley-shoe-disinfectant air, I was greeted by a vision that will haunt me for the rest of my life: a 350lb man standing on the scale. That, in & of itself, was not so terrifying. The part of this encounter that almost caused my eyes to push themselves back into my skull in an attempt to save them from the view that lay before them was the fact that this rather large man was, of course, totally naked.

Yeah. Naked.

I dubbed him Hugh.

Hugh Jass.

So far, I've named three of them, although several people share the names: Hugh Jass, Harry Butt-Ochs & Old Man Dangly Bits.

I've told T that I'm going to start changing in the womens locker-room. Unfortunately, though, Old Man Dangly Bits wife, Old Lady Dangly Bits, likes to let it all hang out as well.