Saturday, September 04, 2004

This being a holiday weekend, many-many-many folks are out doing holiday things such as camping and fishing and picnicking, taking part in community productions, reenactments, bonfires, beer-drinking and belly-scratching, etc., etc., yadda-yadda-yadda.

Most people will continue doing such come Monday, because Monday is the holiday, and when there is a holiday one must do things such a camp and fish and picnic, take part in community productions, reenactments, bonfires, beer-drinking and belly-scratching, and they mourn the loss of their holiday weekend o'plenty come Tuesday morning when it's time to shimmy back into the work clothes and actually earn the money they were busy spending on camping gear, fish-bait, picnic baskets, costumes, faux ammo, lighter fluid and beer. (To the best of my knowledge belly-scratching is still free.) (Unless you're in WeHo.) Except for me.

Because I am the sole payroll person for my company, a company with 750+ steady employees with a 150% turnover in any given year, I have to make sure that my holidaying employees still get paid on time. Because this week upcoming is a payroll week, I have to make sure that I do my job in order to get them paid on time, and because my payroll schedule does not care that I would much rather be doing anything but working on a holiday weekend, I will be working this holiday weekend. More precisely, I will be putting in five hours on Sunday and at least five to eight hours on Monday in order to ensure that we all have our checks on our regularly scheduled Friday payday.

Most people feel sad for me when this happens. Some of them even feel guilty to know that they are out partying while I'm slaving away to make their lives that much easier. A precious few will lift a bottle and give a great belch in salute to my hard-working nature. I like it when that happens. But you know what? I like these working holidays.

Don't get me wrong - missing out while the nation is at play can be a real bummer. However, my job tends to involve a lot of extraneous schtuff that makes it difficult to accomplish things on a timely basis. My weekends of work? Those days I come in when no one else is around? I live for those days.

Think about it: no one is there to walk into your office and demand immediate attention; no one is calling you on the phone demanding immediate attention; no one is even contemplating adding new duties to the roster throughout the day just when you begin to make progress on your hefty list of things to do. On my holiday work days? I get more accomplished in a five hour span of time than I can reasonably expect to accomplish in two days of a regular business work week on a same-task basis.

So don't cry for me, Argentina. The girl is all right. And this girl? This girl is not giving up her holiday. Oh no-no-no! This girl is taking Friday off instead. She is going to sleep in! She is going to lunch at a fancy restaurant in a sweatshirt and jeans! She is going to watch Garden State and find out the truth about the manatees! And this girl?

This girl is going to call all of her co-workers from bed, from in front of her computer, from the restaurant and from the movie theatre (before the movie starts, of course!) just to rub it in, the fact that they have to work and she? She is so totally enjoying her three day holiday weekend!

And, before I forget, Jay: Guess who is going to be one of the celebrities in the newest incarnation of The Surreal Life?

Yeah, I thought you'd be pleased!

(Posted by ETS)