Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Born For Me

You were born for me
Beautiful and blue
Stay here with you

~ Born For Me
Paul Westerberg

I was ready to rant about my cramped office & the floor denizen coming in to take a phone call & conducting the whole conversation, quite loudly, in Spanish & about how Irene is so freakin' insistent on leaving the door partly open, even though she knows the noise drives me nuts!


Instead, though, I decided to write, by popular request, about how T & I came to be us. In looking back through MLCotW, I've seen where I've talked about T & about things we've done, but I didn't see where I actually put finger to key & wrote about how we met.

So, without further ado, here you go...

Let's start back in December of '02. The exgf & I had split for the second (& last) time. The first time was bad (a post for another time, Loyal Readers), but this time, it was a great relief. I felt free for the first time in two years. But, after being in a relationship with someone for that long, I wasn't ready to jump back in the saddle just yet. I needed to be able to be myself again.

A few months later, after the infamous Subway Incident (where I finally felt the urge to hop back into the aforementioned saddle again - it was the first time someone really caught my eye since the breakup, so much so that I couldn't remember my order), I decided to see what the whole internet dating thing was about, since communicating with three dimensional women wasn't panning out for me (as was evidenced again by the Subway Incident, wherein I couldn't bring myself to talk to the woman that had caught my attention - in part because, for a few minutes, I'd completely lost my grasp of the English language). I tried a few sites & got nibbles here & there, but, with the exception of one date, nothing happened. Everyone was either too far away or had baggage or had both eyes growing on stalks out of one side of their face or something weird like that. So, in May of last year, I decided to say goodbye to the world of lonely internet users.

As I was leaving the site I had been on, I sent a few emails to some of the ladies that had viewed my profile in a last ditch effort to get a bite. I had a rule on these sites that I never clicked on someone who didn't have a picture in their profile. Even though I knew that people put deceptive photos on these things (I knew someone who'd gone to meet a woman, only to find out that she'd put a picture of her much, much better looking sister on her profile), I still figured that there was a decent chance that the person in the picture was the person I would be writing to. So, I went through the profiles & came to one that didn't have a photo. I don't know why, but I felt compelled to open her profile & see what she was all about.

She stated that she was just looking for a pen pal kinda thing, nothing serious. I figured "What the heck? Can't hurt to have someone to correspond with." Besides, she was in Arkansas - nothing could come of that, right? So, I sent her a very stiff email (I'm horrible at introductions) saying that if she wanted to write back, that'd be nice, blah, blah, blahdity blah.

To my surprise, she wrote back. She told me about herself & where she was from & schtuff like that. Her style of writing was a lot like mine, so it was very easy & natural writing to her. I asked her for a pic, so I'd at least have a face to go along with the written words.

That was when I began to be hooked. I'd look at her picture as I wrote to her. I'd wonder about her, what she was like, what she sounded like. One weekend, she told me that she was going to be gone & not have access to a computer. I knew something was up with me then because I actually missed her that weekend. This person that I'd only written to, that I'd only "known" for a little more than a month - I missed tremendously. I checked my email all the time that weekend in hopes that she'd gotten home early or used her brother's computer or stopped by a Radio Shack & used one of their displays to send me a message. When she got home, I was a little afraid that my emerging feelings would start showing through in my writing. I had to be careful with what I said to her.

Soon after that, we started instant messaging each other (is this a 21st Century love story or what?). Being able to communicate in roughly realtime, we found out that we had a lot in common, including a quick wit. We IM'd almost everyday.

At the beginning of July, we decided to take the next step & actually talk on the phone. What was going to be a short conversation, as she had to go somewhere that evening, turned into a two hour talkfest that I don't think either of us wanted to end.

By this time, I knew I was falling hard for her, Loyal Readers. We talked everyday with the exception of one & that was one long day. In fact, that's the only day we haven't talked to each other since that first call in July of '03. Many of those calls would start in the late evening & go on until the morning. One night, we started talking at about 8p my time. By the time we hung up, we had both seen the sun rise on a new day (thank goodness for unlimited long distance packages) in our respective timezones.

Finally, during one of our late night/into the wee hours of the morning phone calls, we told each other how we felt. Much to my pleasant surprise, she felt the same for me as I did her. I knew then that I wanted to marry her. I wanted no one else. I needed no other woman.

I have all I need in her. I have been blessed beyond measure by having her in my life.

I love you, Beautiful, with all my heart, soul & spirit.